29 September 2008

Review of Eagle Eye (2008)

Click Poster to Purchase
reviewspoilerpremiere photosfilm's websitetrailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• People who love the Dreamworks little, barefoot fisher kid logo at the start of their films
• Fans of government conspiracy theory, action thrillers
• Anyone who has noticed an inexplicable sum of money that they know isn't theirs show up in their personal checking account
• People who prefer Shia with scruff
• Anyone who's ever been a Copy Cabana Boy
• Star-crossed lovers who met in a crate
• Fans of boy-girl action hero pairs
• People who doubted Michelle Monaghan had the right stuff for action thrillers
• Fans of giant special effects films with cool gadgets
• People who don't like arias

• Owners of Porsche Cayennes who couldn't bear to see one destroyed
• Fans of Billy Bob Thornton
• People who worry the FBI listens to their cell phone calls
• Anyone fearing anonymous activation
• Fans of Ethan Embry—he's in it for about 5 minutes
• People who hated Terminator, War Games, Minority Report, and the Die Hard films
• Anyone who'll be needing adrenalin for after-the-film activities
• People who think it's wrong to involve women and children in war games
• If you've got an sort of fear of government inventions taking over the world

28 September 2008

Review of Forever Strong (2008)

Click Poster to Purchase
reviewspoilerfilm's websitetrailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• If you love rugby
• People who are fans of stories based on actual events
• You like films filmed in Utah
• Fans of Gary Cole and Sean Faris
• High school coaches seeking to learn how to be a better coach and reach more players or who think the only way to coach is using a top-down, militaristic, 'my way or the highway' approach—learn from this coach whose record is 390-9 in 32 years with 18 national titles
• People who coach or play a competitive team sport at the high school level or above
• Those who like their character education without religious overtones
• People who like a great sports story that's not just about an underdog rising to the top but about a team of young people competing only with their own personal best
• Teens who feel above the law and that their purpose is to carouse and be free about town
• People who struggle to find their inner voice
• Owners of a copy of the Never Back Down DVD who've already worn it out

• People who don't want to see rugby shirts come back in fashion—remember how you could order like 50 different designs from Land's End?
• Fans of Penn Badgley as a good guy
• People who didn't care for the following films: Facing the Giants, Hoosiers, or Miracle
• Fans of Sean Astin who think he should have retired after Rudy
• People who aren't that into sports-themed movies
• Teenagers who don't want to develop any character or leadership, rather they'd prefer to continue to lead empty, meaningless "Gossip Girl" / "OC" lives
• Losers and/or Whiners
• People who cannot and won't ever listen…to anyone…no matter what because they know everything and nothing on this earth will ever change them…ever…so stop trying

27 September 2008

Review of Fireproof (2008)

Click Poster to Purchase
reviewspoilerfilm's websitetrailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Those who know the difference between Albany, NY and Albany, GA
• If you're having marriage trouble and don't mind nearly two hours of Christian platitudes
• Fans of the expression, "Karate Chop Sandwich"
• If you had a school-age crush on Kirk Cameron that's never quite gone away—is it the curly hair, the ocean blue eyes, the snarky wolf in sheep's clothing grin?
• Anyone who thinks that being a firefighter is all hot sauce pranks and sliding down shiny poles
• People with oddball next door neighbors they cannot get enough of
• Anyone who's ever wanted to take a baseball bat to his or her computer because it keeps popping up annoying porn ads

• Anyone who finds this quotation from the film annoying, "A woman is like a rose. If you treat her well she blooms. If you don't she wilts."
• If you think After School Specials should be just for kids
• Sorry, but if you think that a salt and pepper shaker should not be used as an analogy for why a couple should stay married
• If you aren't prepared for the high pressure, time share salesman pitch for why you should be jumping aboard the Christian train
• If you believe that, in a marriage, if both members of the partnership are equally guilty of the problems they should be equally responsible for the fix
• People expecting this film to be as uplifting as Facing the Giants

25 September 2008

Review of Nights in Rodanthe (2008)

Click Poster to Purchase
reviewspoilerpremiere photosfilm's websitetrailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• People that go knowing this is not as good as The Notebook and have no expectations as such
• Fans of Diane Lane, Richard Gere, and James Franco
• People who like to get all romantic and don't mind if their partner has Chewbacca breath
• People who live in Rodanthe
• People who don't believe that 60 is the new 40 & 40 is the new 30—Richard Gere is 59 folks and Diane Lane is 43, but no way either looks it—va-va-vroom
• People who think wild ponies exist only in fairytales
• Anyone who thinks that James Franco's ego got too big to fit in the room after Pineapple Express
• Physicians who've lost their calling
• Fathers or Mothers on the outs with their children

• People who loved The Notebook and expect this to be as good, it's just not
• People who don't have a forgiving bone in their body
• People who thought "Romeo and Juliet" wasn't tragic enough
• Fans of "The Man Show"
• Fans of Christopher Meloni
• People with an irrational fear of driftwood art or whom might be offended by a canned goods toss
• Star crossed lovers who've already planned for one half of the pair to take a journey to an unspecified nation below the equator leaving the other alone with a pile of love letters and a song

2008 Summer Movie Poll

During the summer of 2008, 2cOrNot2c.net hosted a live poll for the major motion pictures released during the summer and the request that viewers of the poll simply select any of the movies they thought people should see.

Films 2c |
The big winner, of the Great 2cOrNot2c.net 2008 Summer Movie Poll, with 90% of respondents suggesting people see it, was The Dark Knight.

(click poster for The Dark Knight to purchase it or dozens of others)

Rounding out the top five were: Iron Man (45%), Wanted (43%), What Happens in Vegas (38%), Tropic Thunder (32%).

Films Not 2c |
Six films made the Not 2c List based on earning a pathetically low score with only 5% of respondents saying people should see the films: College, Disaster Movie, Fly Me to the Moon, The Love Guru, Made of Honor, and The Strangers.

Complete Results of the Poll
Dark Knight, The90%
Iron Man45%
What Happens in Vegas38%
Tropic Thunder32%
Swing Vote27%
Happening, The25%
Kung Fu Panda23%
Mamma Mia! The movie21%
Rocker, The21%
Chronicles of Narnia 2, The18%
Journey to the Center 3D18%
Meet Dave16%
Mummy 3, The16%
Hellboy 214%
Pineapple Express14%
Indiana Jones 412%
Sex and the City: The Movie12%
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants12%
Get Smart10%
House Bunny, The10%
Space Chimps10%
Speed Racer10%
X-Files: I Want to Believe10%
Babylon A.D.9%
Step Brothers9%
You Don't Mess with the Zohan9%
Incredible Hulk, The7%
Kit Kittredge7%
Star Wars: The Clone Wars7%
Disaster Movie5%
Fly Me to the Moon5%
Love Guru, The5%
Made of Honor5%
Strangers, The5%

Review of Towelhead (2008)

Click Poster to Purchase
reviewspoilerpremiere photosfilm's websitetrailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of director Alan Ball who are prepared to see his most controversial work to date
• People who prefer not to have to guess what happened to a character based on inference or reaction but, rather, to see every frank detail
• Fans of scathing suburban satire
• Toni Collette Fans
• People looking for a definitive, modern, coming of age story that's as frank, raw, and untethered as anything before seen on film

• People who would rather not see all of the intimate details of a young girl's coming of age in quite such graphic detail as Director Alan Ball chooses to show
• Anyone offended by the title—you won't make it through the film
• People with privacy issues
• Fans for the ethical treatment of animals
• Fans of Maria Bello
• People not eager to see Aaron Eckhart portray an unseemly, creepy statutory rapist
• Those who feel a title should be more revealing as to the subject matter of the film

24 September 2008

Review of Flash of Genius (2008)

Click Poster to Purchase
reviewspoilerpremiere photosfilm's websitetrailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Anyone who's ever had a great idea
• People who've dream of inventing but never took "the next step"
• If you've ever wondered, who thought of the idea of intermittent windshield wipers
• Fans of Greg Kinnear and Lauren Graham
• People who don't think you can fight the establishment and win
• People who've had their own flash of genius
• Those who've been waiting for good, old-fashioned might vs. right, "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" style movie
• Crooks who think it's ok to steal other people's ideas
• Fans of Herman Melville's Moby Dick

• People who get frustrated easily
• People who only like seeing Alan Alda play good guys
• People who don't want to believe there could be any truth to conspiracy theories
• Those who aren't principled enough to turn down an offer of $400K because it doesn't come with an apology
• People who aren't going to be able to be convinced that downloading music and movies for free without paying the people who made them is illegal and morally wrong—you won't get this movie at all

23 September 2008

Review of How to Lose Friends & Alienate People (2008)

Click Poster to Purchase
reviewspoilerpremiere photosfilm's websitetrailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Ravenous fans of Simon Pegg
• People who want to see Gillian Anderson play something other than a helpless FBI agent always crying for the protection of Fox Mulder
• Anyone who thought Jeff Bridges career began and ended with The Vanishing
• Hopeless romantics willing to overlook a little bit of a stale romance
• Pranksters who've themselves been guilty of hiring an exotic dancer to surprise their boss not realizing there is such a thing as "Father-Daughter Day at Work"
• People who think it would be appropriate to show up for your first day at work at a new magazine wearing a bright red, "I'm Young, and Fun, and full of _ _ _ _" t-shirt
• Those who know the difference between flirting and just being creepy
• People who have too many friends or don't know how to alienate others

• Dog people who couldn't stomach the implied squishing of an ornery little Chihuahua named Cuba by a ceramic vase four times his size
• People who would find a fake movie about a lustful Mother Theresa blasphemous
• USAers who never quite got the British sense of humor that propelled the likes of Monty Python and Benny Hill to the top of the UK charts
• People who don't think celebrities take themselves too seriously
• People who still believe that upside down Spider-man / Mary Jane kiss was the sexiest thing ever witnessed in a movie
• People who think Brad Pitt is a cave in Yorkshire
• Anyone bothered by Blondes dating Red Heads
• People unwilling to compromise on good story vs. raw humor

22 September 2008

Review of Igor (2008)

Click Poster to Purchase
reviewspoilerpremiere photosfilm's websitetrailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of top-notch, grade A+, CGI animation
• Fans of John Cusack, Steve Buscemi, Sean Hayes, and the spirited Molly Shannon
• People smart enough to see the allegory in this fairly complicated story
• Children under 13 only with a parent or guardian who has already seen the film
• People with a fondness for theatre of the absurd and existentialism
• Fans of Roald Dahl and the Brothers Grimm, oh and Mary Shelley's Frankenstein
• People who think there's been just about enough evil in the world lately
• People who get this reference, "They say that the brain of the world's smartest man is stored in a jar somewhere. This is not that brain."
• Adult fans of animated films looking for something new, novel, out-there, and not just for kids

• People named Igor (just kidding)
• People who might get confused easily when confronted with too much evil as to who are the good 'evil' guys and who are the bad 'evil' guys
• Those without a dark sense of humor and no 'evil' bone in their body
• People hoping for a cheerful, happy, fairytale animated film
• People offended by the abuse of second class citizens even in animated films and even if they eventually overcome their culturally imposed station in life
• People with no sustained sense of humor potential and who want to nit-pick a film before they even see it
• People who thought The Bee Movie was bad for kids and or grown-ups--storywise anyway


21 September 2008

Review of Lakeview Terrace (2008)

Click Poster to Purchase
reviewspoilerpremiere photosfilm's websitetrailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of Samuel L. Jackson that don't care about the plot of the movie more than care about seeing him perform
• People who cannot wait until the late-night tv debut of this film
• People who thought Kerry Washington got the shaft in F4: Rise of the Silver Surfer
• People who don’t think it's mean to take away a kid's iPod during breakfast
• People who don't live in the path of LA County fires
• People who have never seen a racially loaded psycho-drama
• People who like to do donuts in an ice-covered cul-de-sac on a cold winter's day while attempting to balance an open Thermos® of hot cocoa on their knee [note: do not try this unless you are a professional driver on a closed course wearing fire-proof, heat resistant pants]

• People who have a hard time with racially loaded or explosive films
• People who live on a cul-de-sac in LA
• People who saw and loved Pacific Heights
• Fans of Patrick Wilson or Kerry Washington
• People with suspicious neighbors
• People who drive a Toyota® Prius and work at a Whole Foods-like market
• Fans of Ladder 49, Backdraft, and Firehouse Dog
• People who don't have money to burn

20 September 2008

Review of My Best Friend's Girl (2008)

Click Poster to Purchase
reviewspoilerpremiere photosfilm's websitetrailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• People who never saw: Fool's Gold, Over Her Dead Body, Good Luck Chuck or the MTV Series "Undressed"
• Fans of Jason Biggs who never tire of watching him portray doey-eyed, love-sick, puppy dog guys who never get the girl; or, at least, not the girl they want
• Anyone who took the bet that Kate Hudson's career would not see the light of day after this string of winners: The Skeleton Key; You, Me & Dupree; and Fool's Gold
• Forgiving types who really go to see Dane Cook movies because no dude can pull off the scruffy beard better than he
• Fans of Donut art
• Anyone who sided with Kim Basinger in her divorce with Alec Baldwin
• Guys who've always wanted to get the most diabolical revenge ever conceived on the girls who dumped them
• Any girl contemplating dumping a really nice dude
• Fans of Groucho Marx's eyebrows

• People who might be offended by a mock religious pizza joint called Cheesus Crust
• Fans of ROMANTIC and COMEDIC romantic comedies
• People who upon sitting down in the chair at the hair salon, learn that the person behind the razor is an easily distracted trainee
• People who can only see a few films this fall
• If you're the kind who doesn't like people being mean to each other or that the ends don't justify the means
• Teenagers under 17 who sneak into every [R]-rated film assuming there's a darn good reason people are trying to keep them out
• People who cannot figure out that it's the job of the trailer editors to make you want to see a movie

19 September 2008

Review of Burn After Reading (2008)

Click Poster to Purchase
reviewspoilerpremiere photosfilm's websitetrailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Curious Coen Bros. fans anxious to see how they follow up on No Country for Old Men—just don't go with high expectations even if it seems like an all-star cast
• People who didn't get enough of a sardonic, cruel, vindictive Tilda Swinton or the awkward chemistry between her and George Clooney from Michael Clayton
• Those who make a hobby of counting the number of times various four-letter words appear in a film—you really have to pay attention to John Malkovich's character, Osborne Cox because he has a habit of using two in variation in the same sentence
• Well, Brad Pitt fans will love him and his character in this film where he plays one of his funniest and best comedic characters ever, but be prepared for a shock
• Anyone who has low, low, low expectations for a story such that it need not draw you in, engage you in the filmmakers' passions, and take you on a journey of discovery to places you've never been

• People who don't like the Coen Bros. movies
• People who like to see the good guys finish first
• Fans of Frances McDormand's Police Chief Marge Gunderson
• Anyone who might be haunted by images of John Malkovich in his boxer shorts wielding and axe worse than they were by images of Jack Nicholson in The Shining
• Those who do not prefer violence for the sake of it
• Fans of No Country for Old Men
• People who voted for George Clooney as the Sexiest Man Alive five times
• People who saw the trailer and thought this was going to be a really, really, really, really, really good movie
• People who work hard for their money

18 September 2008

Review of Righteous Kill (2008)

Click Poster to Purchase
reviewspoilerpremiere photosfilm's websitetrailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• "Überfans" of De Niro and Pacino
• People who like to see other people get what's coming to them
• If you don't mind seeing a lot of blood spilled at close range
• Anyone who's ever fantasized about a really naughty character being played by Carla Gugino
• Filmgoers for whom their September isn't complete without a dark, pointed, depressing, NYPD cop film or else a musical version of the same produced by Steven Bochco, of course
• Hey, 50 Cent plays Spider, what more do you want?
• People who are sharpening their Brian Dennehy grimace to prove it's more menacing than the Nicolas Cage grimace
• If New York City grime crime is your prime time

• People who thought the ending for The Departed was too cynical
• Fans of movies with twists you cannot figure out until the last moment
• People who don't like films with an interior monologue
• Donnie Wahlberg fans who still believe he's the better actor among the Wahlberg brothers
• People who never get bored of "Dancing with the Stars"—this is more like "Shooting with the Stars"
• Anyone subscribing to the notion that we don't need any more Hollywood justification for vigilantism especially bearing the names of two of the biggest legends in acting today
• People hoping to get an early look at a Best Picture nominee likewise when it comes to Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Costume, Best Director, not sure about Best Score, that's a possibility
• Fans of New Kids on the Block who want to ensure that Donnie earns more money from his comeback tour than this film

11 September 2008

Review of Bangkok Dangerous (2008)

Click Poster to Purchase
reviewspoilerfilm's websitetrailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of the Pang Brothers—you will probably get more out of this film than most
• Viewers who are not bothered by dark, vacuous endings deep in sorrow and self-reflection
• Travelers who want to see films set and filmed in Bangkok regardless of the plot
• Fans of Nicolas Cage's increasingly deadpan, teeth-clenched, mortal combat grimace
• Fans of the delightful Charlie Young—the break out star of the film
• Action thriller fans who've gotten tired of all that action and just want one, maybe two brief stints of action and one motorcycle chase
• People who think there's nothing you wouldn't do for 3,000 baht a day

• Anyone previously known to endure profoundly disturbing nightmares induced by the hairstyle of Tom Hanks in The Da Vinci Code
• People impacted negatively by excessive violence, blood, and murder
• Superstitious people who know what a picture of an elephant with it's trunk hanging down symbolizes to Thai people
• Movie fans who expect to know the protagonist forward and backward before having to decide if he's a good or a bad guy
• Those who remember well, the good old days of Leaving Las Vegas when we thought Nicolas Cage and Elisabeth Shue would grow old together
• People who already saw Babylon A.D. and / or Death Race – how much darkness can one take in the same month?

Films from Summer 2008

[click a title to see the review]

American TeenBabylon A.D.CollegeThe Dark KnightDeath RaceDisaster MovieHamlet 2Henry Poole is HereThe House BunnyJourney to the Center of the Earth 3DMamma Mia!Meet DaveMirrorsThe Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon EmperorPineapple ExpressThe RockerSpace ChimpsStar Wars: The Clone WarsStep BrothersSwing VoteTraitorTropic ThunderThe X-Files: I Want to Believe

07 September 2008

Review of Disaster Movie (2008)

Click Poster to Purchase
reviewfilm's websitetrailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• People who've been pining away for a spoof of Disney® hot properties High School Musical and Step-Up (1 and 2)
• Fans who always knew that Matt Lanter, formerly of "Manhunt" had a leading role in him yet
• Anyone who, no matter how stale the genre has become, cannot get enough of rollicking, sick-out, spoof comedies in the vein established by the Wayan Bros. with their Scary Movie franchise
• "Mad TV" star Ike Barinholtz fans – he's really the big star of this movie, for what that's worth – who does everyone from Javier Bardem's cold No Country for Old Men assassin to Batman to Prince Caspian to a completely naked Beowulf
• People who didn't quite get J.J. Abrams's Cloverfield
• Fans of Indiana Jones IV who didn't think it was a big enough spoof in and of itself of the original acclaimed film series
• People who don't mind spoof films that don't have a coherent plot
• Anyone who won't succumb to film-induced nightmares due to cinematic exposure to rabid, animatronic chipmunks
• Everyone who saw Juno and thought that Ellen Page was particularly over the top in her portrayal of teen angst gone Etch-a-Sketch®
• People who loved Date Movie and Epic Movie

• Fans of Meet the Spartans who thought co-writers / directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer had finally found their groove
• People offended by singing and dancing during fake disasters
• Carmen Electra and Kimberly Kardashian fans
• Anyone who shudders at the thought of a fake pregnant, unwed teenager break dancing on the bloated belly of her unborn child
• People who think spoofing is one thing, but spoofing great works of Disney® or the "Sex and the City" girls is pure heresy
• People who didn't like the Disaster Movie posters
• People who know an even better, uncut, no holds barred version will be coming to DVD, Blu-Ray, and Download in a matter of weeks
• Anyone who grows bored quickly if a "Saturday Night Live" sketch runs a bit long
• People who loved Meet the Spartans

Review of College (2008)

Click Poster to Purchase
reviewspoilerfilm's websitetrailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of Andrew Caldwell and Ryan Pinkston—who'd want to miss these two "break out" performances after all--and who don't comprehend sarcasm and who actually have heard of Andrew Caldwell and/or Ryan Pinkston
• Anyone who's ever wondered how low Gary Owen will stoop for a paycheck—to give you an idea, it's so low he could crawl under the low hanging endowment of Van Wilder's pooch
• Frat boys who dreamed up frat house pranks and thought they had no consequences
• Producers who've been given the line, "It's going to be like the next Superbad, only badder!"
• People who didn't get enough of pig stampedes in their State Fairs this summer and fall
• Anyone who fantasizes of taking body shots at a frat party
• People who cannot read this section

• Diners who just ate a decent-sized meal seeking relaxing digestion conditions
• People who haven't already sold their soul the devil
• Anyone who's IQ could be injured by a film less entertaining than the OSHA mandated blood born pathogen video which is required viewing of anyone with a job he or she might have to come in contact with the bodily fluids of other people
• Fans of "American Idol" Kevin Covais (aka Chicken Little) who don't want their crispy, clean image of him permanently stained
• College kids—um, this movie is Rated-R, but it's the kind of movie only a high school kid could like, and then only because he heard at school from a kid who lied and said he sneaked in and saw it but who was actually too chicken to sneak in and ruin his chances of being elected captain of the debate team, that it was the "best movie ever, dude, it rocked my world"—famous last words
• Relatives of members of the cast

04 September 2008

Review of Babylon A.D. (2008)

Click Poster to Purchase
reviewspoilerfilm's websitetrailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Vin Diesel fans who are not bothered when his dialogue is limited and he's nearly able to be taken down by a nun
• USAers who've been awaiting eagerly a quintessential French action thriller
• Anyone who would have enjoyed of Children of Men or The Fifth Element minus their last 20 minutes
• People who didn't know that Gérard Depardieu is the French equivalent to Eddie Murphy when it comes to acting in disguise
• People who don't mind a lot of action hype build up toward an inexplicably thing finale

• People who have not yet developed a taste for French films
• Fans of Charlotte Rampling
• People who are bothered by excessive and needless violence and mayhem in films
• Little Miss Mary Sunshine
• People who are bothered by cinematography that blurs fight scenes to the point where it's hard to tell who's fighting who and definitely who's winning
• People who have to pay a lot for parking at the theatre
• Despite the comical PG-13 rating, the film is best not seen by children under 16
• Fans of the original book upon which the film was based, Babylon Babies by Maurice G. Dantec (check out the book)