27 September 2008

Review of Fireproof (2008)

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• Those who know the difference between Albany, NY and Albany, GA
• If you're having marriage trouble and don't mind nearly two hours of Christian platitudes
• Fans of the expression, "Karate Chop Sandwich"
• If you had a school-age crush on Kirk Cameron that's never quite gone away—is it the curly hair, the ocean blue eyes, the snarky wolf in sheep's clothing grin?
• Anyone who thinks that being a firefighter is all hot sauce pranks and sliding down shiny poles
• People with oddball next door neighbors they cannot get enough of
• Anyone who's ever wanted to take a baseball bat to his or her computer because it keeps popping up annoying porn ads

• Anyone who finds this quotation from the film annoying, "A woman is like a rose. If you treat her well she blooms. If you don't she wilts."
• If you think After School Specials should be just for kids
• Sorry, but if you think that a salt and pepper shaker should not be used as an analogy for why a couple should stay married
• If you aren't prepared for the high pressure, time share salesman pitch for why you should be jumping aboard the Christian train
• If you believe that, in a marriage, if both members of the partnership are equally guilty of the problems they should be equally responsible for the fix
• People expecting this film to be as uplifting as Facing the Giants

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