09 August 2008

Review of Pineapple Express (2008)

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• People who think certain plants from which hemp is derived should be legalized for other purposes and whom are unclear why the rest of the country doesn't agree with them.
• People who have cleaned their lint traps, replaced their automatic toilet bowl cleaner, tested all the batteries in their smoke detectors, backed up their computer's hard drive, written thank you notes for last year's birthday presents, checked the air pressure in all four tires, over-nighted at the home of their in-laws to watch their home videos of their trips to the Spam® Museum, gotten their routine teeth cleaning, and scraped all the wax off the wax cups they've been collecting from McDonald's® over the past six months to make a candle.
• People who think steam rising off the Mojave Desert is pure, adrenalin-fueled excitement.
• People who've been looking for reasons to cancel their Judd Apatow Fan Club membership to make room in the budget to join the Hot Tamale Train for Michael Aguilar.

• Erudite people who expect movies to have a coherent plot, great acting, some relevance to the human condition, you know, things that generally make a movie good.
• People who think James Franco is on the fast track to being the James Dean that, most tragically, James Dean didn't live to become.
• Seth Rogen fans.
• People under 18.
• People who believe the hype that this is Dazed and Confused for a whole new generation.
• People who think Danny R. McBride is funnier than Rob Corddry.
• People who think Pineapple Express sounds like a delightful faux cocktail similar to a Shirley Temple or an Arnold Palmer.
• People looking to see a really funny comedy rather than a running gag that's been on "SNL" about 10 months too long.
• People who get uncomfortable in small, confined places.
• People who, under no circumstances, will ever walk out of a movie for any reason short of a power failure.
• People who would be very grossed out by seeing Seth Rogen playing a character who looks and acts 30ish dating a character played by Amber Heard who looks and acts 17.

1 comment:

movie buff said...

first half of Pineapple Express was about half as good as Knocked Up; the second half was almost as bad as Freddy Got Fingered