16 August 2008

Review of Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008)

Click Poster to Purchase
reviewspoilerpremiere photosfilm's websitetrailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• People who fear their own end if their Yoda-speak quota they do not soon fill
• Anyone who was confused how the story arc from Star Wars: The Attack of the Clones got to Star Wars: The Revenge of the Sith—if this film helps, then so be it
• Fans of the Lego® Star Wars games
• Fans of Matt Lanter's voice—forget that whole over-rated eye candy thing of this former star of "Manhunt: The Search for America's Most Gorgeous Male Model"
• People who doubted there were great female Jedi Knights
• Fans of technically great CGI animated films and whom can overlook the lack of a great story as long as the animation rocks
• People who preferred the humorless scenes of the Star Wars saga
• Star Wars fans who don't like Ewoks or Wookies farther than you could throw one
• People who always wondered what a baby Hutt looks like and won't be sickened to their stomach when they discover it's rather like something Jabba might have produced while sneezing
• People who thought the cut-up cadence of Ewan McGregor's take on Obi-Wan Kenobi added to his hipster status and want to hear it replicated perfectly by James Arnold Taylor

• People without spare income
• People without spare brain cells
• People who are hoping to get a glimpse into episodes 7, 8, and 9
• Fans of Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, and Ewan McGregor
• People who've not had a nap
• People who expect a Star Wars movie that has a good story like episodes 4, 5, and 6
• People outraged by Star Wars characters that seem to be stereotyped archetypes of humans of various cultural, regional, or religious backgrounds—this time around it's Ziro the Hutt with a Cajun Truman Capote accent and glow-in-the-dark tattoos.
• Fans of the special cameos like appearances of the E.T. family in the Senate chamber—there might be some in this film, but staying awake to notice them's not easy.
• People who already bought all the Star Wars: The Clone Wars action figures—any story you might make up yourself to play out at home is probably going to be better than this one.

No comments: