18 July 2008

Review of The Dark Knight (2008)

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DVD Release Date: 9 December 2008 (click date to purchase or pre-order)

• EVERYONE over the age of 17.
• Heath Ledger fans.
• Batman fans.
• Chicagoans—Second City no more!
• People who don't like Batman or Batman films—this will restore your faith.
• Fans of Superhero films, action films, twist films, and films that challenge your belief system.
• People who think Christian Bale is the best Batman ever.
• Fans of screen legends Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine who are, for some unknown reason, even more delicious and incomparable in these minor roles than ever!
• People who want to be part of a revolution.
• Fans of Maggie Gyllenhaal and Aaron Eckhart.
• People without hope or faith in the good of the future of humankind.
• People who don't want to miss the Academy Award®-winning performance for an actor in a supporting role—if Heath Ledger doesn't win it will be because critics guilt the voters into believing they are voting with their hearts for Mr. Ledger and not with their minds for what is surely one of the grandest, most tragic, most gut-wrenchingly powerful portrayals of a psychotic villain…EVER! Anyone who tells you differently or argues the point simply doesn't want to admit it for whatever personally disturbing reasons.
• People who don't want to be left out of a movement that could go on to surpass Titanic as the highest grossing film of all time.

• Jaded people who will refuse to like anything that's a box-office behemoth assuming that box-office success = terrible cinema.
• People whose constitution cannot tolerate a gigantic action spectacle that's super-charged on all levels.
• People whose physicians have advised them against physical or mental heavy-lifting.
• People who already know everything.
• People who don't want to have Jack Nicholas's portrayal of the Joker diminished, wadded up into a little ball, tossed down the laundry shoot into an exploding dryer and blown to smithereens all over Gotham City.
• People who don't get why Christian Bales talks so weird when he's Batman.
• Die-hard Katie Holmes fans—she's been replaced by Maggie Gyllenhaal.
• Huge Cillian Murphy fans—he's in it for 5 seconds.
• New Yorkers who always thought Gotham City was New York City—um, look again, this is Chicago, baby!

1 comment:

movie buff said...

i still wish Katie Holmes had stayed on board as Rachel Dawes for the Dark Knight; it was like the time spent getting familiar with her character in Batman Begins was wasted...