2cOrNot2c

Review of Angels & Demons (2009)

2009-05-15T10:58:00.002-06:00

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mEd review • spoiler • premiere • film's website • trailer
Cast/Crew Info: see mEd.com page
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• People who didn’t think the film version of The Da Vinci Code met expectations

• Fans of puzzle films like National Treasure

• Those who always wondered how Hollywood would adapt Conclave to film

• Angels

• Fans of Ewan McGregor and Ayelet Zurer

• People who thought Tom Hanks’s mullet in The Da Vinci Code was the key element to the film’s enjoyment

• Those who think there’s only room for one anti-matter movie in theaters at a time and that means, “Go Star Trek, Go!”

• Opponents of book to film conversions

• Demons

• People who don’t want to see Tom Hanks do a Michael Phelps impersonation – Speedo® and all

• Anyone who fears scientific advancement and its inevitable consequences

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Review of Battle for Terra (2009)

2009-04-30T22:33:00.003-06:00

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mEd review • spoiler • film's website • trailer
Cast/Crew Info: see mEd.com page
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of digital 3D films

• People who think there is more to life than war

• Those who believe that living in harmony with the earth should be the principle goal of human existence

• Anyone who thinks the USA lost it’s way for the past decade and needs a new guiding set of principles.

• Fans of Justin Long, Luke Wilson, Evan Rachel Wood, Brian Cox, and Chris Evans

• People who think only Disney•Pixar® and Dreamworks® can put out a great digitally animated film

• People who worry about looking like a dork for wearing 3D glasses for an entire feature film

• Anyone who doesn’t want hope for the future

• People who are hoping the title, The Battle for Terra, means a new spin on Gone with the Wind

• Those who prefer war as the final solution

• People who would place the needs of themselves over their own morals

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Review of Fighting (2009)

2009-04-25T13:59:00.002-06:00

(in German)

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mEd review • spoiler • film's website • trailer
Cast/Crew Info: see mEd.com page
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of Dito Montiel’s previews and don’t mind that they tend to be better than the films

• People who haven’t heard of Zulay Henao but think they might like to

• Anyone who’s ever tried to date a girl but her crusty old grandmother kept getting in the way and accused them of looking like a homicidal maniac

• People who can’t get enough of films about fighting, at least this one’s title doesn’t try to hide the fact in a clever cliché

• Those who’ve visited Times Square and always wondered how all those trinket shops stay in business

• Fans of Channing Tatum and Terrence Howard

• New Yorkers who think their tax credit money is going to good use

• People who thought this film looked like it might have a good sense of humor based on the preview

• People who didn’t learn after seeing A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints

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Review of State of Play (2009)

2009-04-19T08:55:00.001-06:00

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mEd review • spoiler • premiere • film's website • trailer
Cast/Crew Info: see mEd.com page
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• People who don’t mind a highly predictable, not too thrilling thriller

• People who love a good conspiracy theory gone wild type of film

• People who’ve dreamed of seeing Ben Affleck beat the living day lights out of Jason Bateman

• Fans of Zombie movies

• Fans of Russell Crowe, Helen Mirren, and Rachel McAdams

• People who realize that a leading character named Della is a bad sign for a film

• Fans of the British television series “State of Play”

• People who haven’t had a good night’s rest in days

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Review of 17 Again (2009)

2009-04-17T14:19:00.002-06:00

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mEd review • spoiler • premiere • film's website • trailer
Cast/Crew Info: see mEd.com page
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• If you’ve longed to be 17 Again

• Fans of Zac Efron & Leslie Mann

• People who enjoyed Freaky Friday

• Anyone who thinks Cheeze Whiz® should be one of the 5 food groups

• Abstinence advocates

• Fans of Matthew Perry

• Bullies

• People who speak Middle Earth

• People with a fear of water or bridges

• Kids under 12

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Review of Dragonball Evolution (2009)

2009-04-12T10:41:00.001-06:00

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mEd review • spoiler • premiere • film's website • trailer
Cast/Crew Info: see mEd.com page
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of Goku’s spiky hair

• People who thought that Dragonballs were more properly called Mt. Fuji Oysters

• Anyone who has ever heard of Joon Park who plays Yamcha, replace all future appearances of Aaron Yoo, and you will have a 100% better film

• Those who’ve read every piece of Dragonball lore and would thought the trailer for Dragonball Evolution was cinematic Turkish Delight

• Fans of Yun-Fat Chow – who knew doing Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon would be a career ender

• People expecting a fantastic portrayal of Lord Piccolo by James Marsters – um, no

• Those who go to a movie filmed almost entirely in Mexico, featuring a young and vivacious cast, based on an internationally acclaimed series of books, and have, therefore, very high expectations

• People who thought Justin Chatwin was on a rocket sled to greatness post The Invisible

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Review of Duplicity (2009)

2009-04-04T12:29:00.002-06:00

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mEd review • spoiler • premiere • film's website • trailer
Cast/Crew Info: see mEd.com page
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Huge fans of Julia Roberts, Clive Owen, Paul Giamati, and Tom Wilkinson

• Corporate Spies

• People who don’t mind a movie that dupes you out of your price of admission

• Fans of films that tell the story in an incongruous and clever way

• Those who love international travel shows

• People who might get a serious craving for frozen pizza mid-film

• People who demand a good ending

• People who don’t like sitting through a 2-hour movie only to have it end badly

• People who don’t think you should have to make a sequel to fix your movie’s ending

• People who have no desire to be left holding the bag when the credits roll

• People who don’t know the difference between a lotion and cream

Amazon.com Widgets

Review of The Haunting of Connecticut (2009)

2009-04-04T10:51:00.003-06:00

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mEd review • spoiler • film's website • trailer
Cast/Crew Info: see mEd.com page
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of ghost stories who don’t mind some fiction woven into the ‘true story’

• People who’ve not heard of Kyle Gallner and think that Shia LeBeouf is the only thing out there

• Fans of Virginia Madsen and Amanda Crew

• Those who like to be scared by visual imagery as well as simple things like stacks of plates reverting to their original location upon being set on the table

• People who think that only the Japanese and the Koreans can make a good ghost story

• People who might find the sight of an ectoplasmic fountain emerging from the mouth of a boy visually disturbing

• Anyone who lives in a former mortuary

• Fans of Martin Donovan

• Anyone who endures nightmares rooted in imagery they’ve seen that day

• Those who aren’t huge fans of stories that are a tad convoluted

• People with a huge fear of burning to death in a fire or being attacked by ravens

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Review of I Love You, Man (2009)

2009-03-20T11:30:00.001-06:00

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mEd review • spoiler • premiere • film's website • trailer
Cast/Crew Info: see mEd.com page
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of Paul Rudd and Jason Segel

• People who think there’s only one name in comedy these days and it’s Judd Apatow

• Those who enjoyed Along Came Polly and Meet the Fockers

• People who prefer to see Jason Segel fully clothed

• Interior designers seeking tips on how to create the ultimate man-cave

• Men seeking tips on how to be ‘bromantic’

• People who don’t like Andy Samberg’s hair

• Anyone who’s still afraid of the Incredible Hulk

• Those who won’t tolerate a film with Jane Curtin without Dan Aykroyd

• Fans of Prop 8

• People with no appreciation for the music group Rush

• People who gave a bad toast at a party once and don’t want to relive the tragic episode

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Review of Sunshine Cleaning (2009)

2009-03-18T18:14:00.001-06:00

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mEd review • spoiler • film's website • trailer
Cast/Crew Info: see mEd.com page
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of Amy Adams and Emily Blunt – though these are not their best roles ever

• People intrigued by the title and are dying to know what it means

• Those who support Alan Arkin at all costs

• Fans of “CSI” who wonder what happens when the team leaves

• People who like a happy ending

• People expecting another Little Miss Sunshine

• Fans of Clifton Collins Jr. and Steve Zahn

• People with weak stomachs or who haven’t eaten in a while and cannot live without movie snacks

• People who like a happy movie

• Those suffering from Shrimp allergies

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Review of Race to Witch Mountain (2009)

2009-03-15T15:26:00.002-06:00

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mEd review • spoiler • premiere • film's website • trailer
Cast/Crew Info: see mEd.com page
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• People who see reboots just to see reboots

• People who have no allegiance to the original films

• Fans of extraterrestrial invasion conspiracy theories

• Anyone with an affinity toward junkyard dogs

• Those with telekinetic powers and who wonder what to do with them were they to suddenly find themselves on the floor of a Vegas casino

• People who like to knit-pick the plots of sci-fi films

• Fans of the original film Escape to Witch Mountain

• Fans of AnnaSophia Robb, Alexander Ludwig, and Dwayne Johnson

• People who don’t like hints of a sequel place not so subtly in the middle of the final scene

• Cheech Marin fans

• Aliens

Amazon.com Widgets

Movie Review for Watchmen (2009)

2009-03-06T19:37:00.003-07:00

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mEd review • spoiler • premiere • film's website • trailer
Cast/Crew Info: see mEd.com page
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of a darker super hero film like The Dark Knight

• Anyone who’s been dying to catch a glimpse of a giant, nude, glowing blue Billy Crudup

• Heroes

• Fans of the Watchmen comic book turned graphic novel – you might not be 100% happy, but then consider the complexity of this project

• Those who’ve ever contemplated donning a super hero costume and living the dream

• Matthew Goode, Billy Crudup, and Jackie Earle Haley fans

• Watchmen fans who consider the Tales of the Black Freighter more important than anything else in the Watchmen world

• People with attention spans shorter than 163 minutes

• Villains

• People who wish Patrick Wilson would finally get to smile in a movie

• People who swore off Nena and her Luft Balloons

• Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Carla Gugino, and Matt Frewer fans

• People who value the story more than the scenes

Amazon.com Widgets

Review of The Unborn (2009)

2009-03-03T14:12:00.003-07:00

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mEd review • spoiler • film's website • trailer
Cast/Crew Info: see mEd.com page
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• People who like a scary movie even if it’s not very good

• Fans of really frightening special effects

• Those who still doubt the the speed with which a film goes to the cheap theatre is usually a sign of a weak film

• Fans of Oddette Yustman, Jane Alexander, and Cam Gigandet

• Fas of David S. Goyer and Gary Oldman

• People who live for a good ghost story movie

• People who already saw The Grudge, The Ring, and The Eye

• Anyone with a thing for blue mittens

Amazon.com Widgets

Review of Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009)

2009-02-27T16:00:00.005-07:00

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mEd review • spoiler • premiere • film's website • trailer
Cast/Crew Info: see mEd.com page
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of Joe Jonas shirtless

• Fans of Kevin Jonas teetering on a pole 20 feet in the air

• Fans of Nick Jonas playing the drums

• People who think the Jonas Bros are the Beatles of the 2000s

• People who have read and seen everything on earth there is to see and read about the Jonas Bros and still cannot get enough

• Fans of the Faux Jonas Bros

• People who are afraid of throngs of screaming girls

• People who don’t think music groups should put their body guards on stage with them

• Fans of Taylor Swift of Demi Lovato

• Fans of insightful concert films

• Fans of 3D movies

• Fans of concert films

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2008 Fall Movie Poll Results

2009-02-01T11:07:00.001-07:00

Throughout the Fall and early winter of 2008, 2cOrNot2c.net hosted a live poll for the major motion pictures released during the fall and requested that viewers of the poll simply select any of the movies they thought people should see leaving those that should not be seen blank.

Films 2c |

The big winner, of the Great 2cOrNot2c.net 2008 Fall Movie Poll, with 55% of respondents suggesting people see it, was The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.
(click poster for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button to purchase it or dozens of others)

Rounding out the top five were: Blindness (50%), Slumdog Millionaire (50%), Eagle Eye (45%), Defiance (40%), The Duchess (40%), Flash of Genius (40%), Forever Strong (40%), Miracle at St. Anna (40%), Religulous (40%), Valkyrie (40%).

Films Not 2c |

28 films made the Not 2c List based on earning a pathetically low score with only 5% of respondents saying people should see the films: See them all listed below!

Complete Results of the Poll

Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The	55%
Blindness	50%
Slumdog Millionaire	50%
Eagle Eye	45%
Defiance	40%
Duchess, The	40%
Flash of Genius	40%
Forever Strong	40%
Miracle at St. Anna	40%
Religulous	40%
Valkyrie	40%
Igor	35%
Body of Lies	30%
Express, The	30%
Fireproof	30%
Frost/Nixon	30%
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist	30%
Twilight	30%
Yes Man	30%
Bedtime Stories	25%
Changeling, The	25%
Day the Earth Stood Still, The	25%
Ghost Town	25%
High School Musical 3	25%
Rachel Getting Married	25%
Secret Life of Bees, The	25%
Bolt	20%
Milk	20%
Quantum of Solace	20%
Seven Pounds	20%
W.	20%
Boy in the Stiped Pajamas, The	15%
Lakeview Terrace	15%
Quarantine	15%
Saw V	15%
Zack and Miri Make a Porno	10%
Amusement	5%
Australia	5%
Battle in Seattle	5%
Beverly Hills Chihuahua	5%
Bridehead Revisited	5%
Choke	5%
City of Ember	5%
Crossing Over	5%
Doubt	5%
Extreme Movie	5%
Family That Preys, The	5%
Four Christmases	5%
Happy-Go-Lucky	5%
Haunting of Molly Hartley, The	5%
Madagascar: Escap 2 Africa	5%
Max Payne	5%
My Best Friend's Girl	5%
Night in Rodanthe	5%
Nothing but the Truth	5%
Passengers	5%
Pride and Glory	5%
Role Models	5%
Sex Drive	5%
Spirit, The	5%
Synedoche, New York	5%
Towelhead	5%
What Just Happened	5%
Women, The	5%

Films from Fall 2008

2009-02-01T09:45:00.002-07:00

Appaloosa • Bangkok Dangerous • Bev. Hills Chihuahua • Blindness • Body of Lies • The Boy in the Striped Pajamas • Burn After Reading • City of Ember • The Curious Case of Benjamin Button • The Day the Earth Stood Still • The Duchess • Eagle Eye • The Express • Fireproof • Flash of Genius • Forever Strong • Frost/Nixon • Ghost Town • Gran Torino • High School Musical 3: Senior Year • How to Lose Friends & Alienate People • Igor • Lakeview Terrace • The Lucky Ones • Max Payne • Miracle at St. Anna • My Best Friend's Girl • Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist • Nights in Rodanthe • Nobel Son • Pride & Glory • Quarantine • Religulous • Righteous Kill • Secret Life of Bees • Sex Drive • Towelhead • Valkyrie • W. • Were the World Mine

Review of Gran Torino (2008)

2009-01-11T17:15:00.001-07:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler• premiere photos • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Clint Eastwood fans

• People who have or had a gruff grandfather with whom they never related

• People who don't think we have a gang problem in our country

• Fans of incredibly tight dramas with a twist and a purpose

• People who live and die by their cars

• People who liked Bride Wars and thought it was one of the best movies EVER!

• People who cannot stand a raw look at REAL America

• People who have no heart and soul

• People who never wondered what Dirty Harry would be like as a grandfather

• People who don't want to cry at the movies

Amazon.com Widgets

Review of Bride Wars (2009)

2009-01-09T14:58:00.001-07:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler• premiere photos • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of chick-flicks that can overlook some plot problems and borrowed plot points

• Fans of Kate 'Smurfette' Hudson and Anne 'Oompa Loompa' Hathaway

• Serious fans of Bryan Greenberg and Chris Pratt, but more Bryan Greenberg

• People longing to see Candice Bergen fire her assistant for gross incompetence

• People who thought 27 Dresses was a comedy

• People who've already seen all of the Academy-Award® potential nominees just coming out now in the rest of the country and, therefore have a choice between Bride Wars and The Unborn—eeewww!

• People who thought 27 Dresses was too dumb to warrant a re-make

• Anyone who thought Anne Hathaway was horrid in Get Smart

• People who have not seen Benjamin Button—go see it instead

• People who have yet to watch their new Blu-Ray DVD of The Dark Knight—watch that instead

• People who are saving their money for next week's, Hotel for Dogs.

• People who think that Kate Hudson is a good 10 years older than Anne Hathaway

• Engaged couples searching for a good wedding planner

• Anyone who dreams of a wedding at The Plaza Hotel

Amazon.com Widgets

Review of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)

2009-01-02T12:07:00.002-07:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler• premiere photos • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• People who doubt the talent of Brad Pitt

• Fans of Brad Pitt

• People who think they've seen Brad Pitt act before

• Fans of Cate Blanchett

• Readers of F. Scott Fitzgerald who thought The Great Gatsby was his only work

• People who've fantasized about growing younger

• Those who would let gloom rule their lives

• Fans of film aging make-up artistry

• People who prefer buttons over zippers

• People who cannot go 159 minutes without sending a text message, taking a trip to the restroom, getting up to stretch, getting another Coke®, or refilling the popcorn bucket

• F. Scott Fitzgerald purists

• People with no visible signs of imagination

• People who cannot abide hearing both Ts in 'button' pronounced

Amazon.com Widgets

Review of Frost/Nixon (2008)

2008-12-31T11:21:00.002-07:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of the Kevin Bacon game who now have so many more actors with whom to connect him

• People who idolize Michael Sheen

• Anyone who doubted Frank Langella

• People who just cannot get enough of Sam Rockwell or Oliver Platt

• Anyone who wonders about the suggestive nature of Italian loafers

• Those who wonder why all government scandals are now given the suffix 'gate'

• People who don't mind if Hollywood plays a little fancy and free with history for the sake of building dramatic tension

• People who don't think Kevin Bacon should be in a supporting role

• Fans of Pat Nixon

• Those who don't want to encourage Hollywood to put its own spin on history

• People who don't like to see stage plays turned into movies

• People who don't want to see Sam Rockwell sport a mullet

Amazon.com Widgets

Review of Were the World Mine (2008)

2008-12-30T15:42:00.001-07:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of Tom Gustafson's Fairies

• People who harbor hate and fear for people who are different than they

• Fans of William Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream"

• People who like films filmed in and around Chicago

• Anyone looking to see the next big teen heart-throb actor

• People who have no desire to have the tables turned and leave their comfort zone

• Purists who think short films should never be made into features

• Those who hate musicals or when actors, sprayed with a love potion, start speaking in Elizabethan-style English

• People who never realized that Puck was a fairy

• Those who don't believe all the world's a stage

Amazon.com Widgets

Review of Valkyrie (2008)

2008-12-22T13:50:00.001-07:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of Tom Cruise

• Fans of WWII films

• People who don't know there was a German Resistance working to topple Hilter

• People who have forgotten the atrocities of WWII

• Anyone who doubts the power of fear as a disingenuous way to control a populace

• People who thought Bill Nighy was only capable of playing pirates

• Anyone convinced that war is good for the economy

• People who think they've seen it all when it comes to WWII

• People who don't want to believe there were any good people in WWII Germany

• People who cannot set aside Tom Cruise's personal life to watch him play an historically important anti-war hero

• People who don't like tense, thriller-type films

• People who don't think there should be any jokes in a war movie

• People who want to continue their fantasy that WWII and the holocaust never happened

Amazon.com Widgets

Review of The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)

2008-12-12T15:22:00.002-07:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler• premiere photos • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of Jennifer Connelley and Keanu Reeves

• Green people (not Martians, environmentalists)

• People who don't care if the film deviates in all the wrong places from the original

• Fans of really cool special effects from Peter Jackson's Weta Studio

• People who are ready for an allegory for change

• Fans of Jaden Smith (horrible character), Kathy Bates (wrong charater), and Kyle Chandler (miniscule character)

• People who are hoping that John Cleese will be resurrecting Basil Fawlty

• People who were huge, huge fans of the original and hoping that this version will be better than the original

• People who don't like remakes

• People who think the only good alien is a dead alien

• Those who wake up in the middle of the night because they feel something crawling on them when there's nothing there

Amazon.com Widgets

Review of The Boy in the Striped Pajamas (2008)

2008-12-07T14:40:00.001-07:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Pastors who preach hate

• Talk Radio and TV Show Hosts who have superiority complexes

• People needing a reminder of the dangers of following a movement founded on the ideology that some people, based on nothing they've done of a criminal nature, are more worthy to live and be free than other human beings

• Those convinced that the horrors of the Nazi regime are overstated

• People who read the book and want to see the film

• People who want to see one of the best leading performances by a young child star since Christian Bale starred in Empire of the Sun

• Fans of Vera Farmiga and David Thewlis, but especially fans of David Hayman—very worthy of a best supporting actor nomination

• People who are prepared to be haunted by the incredibly powerful but devastating and sad ending

• Those who've lost someone a fascist regime and cannot bear to relive the horror

• People who have no stomach for war, and already know it

Amazon.com Widgets

Review of Nobel Son (2008)

2008-12-05T13:41:00.003-07:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of Bryan Greenberg!!!

• People who still crush on Mary Steenbergen

• People who thought there was no way that Alan Rickman could play a slimier character than those he's done before

• People with opposable thumbs

• Artisans of Marzipan

• People who thought Ted Danson's career was over with the "Cheers" finale

• If your name backwards spells Shawn Hatosy

• Anyone who is jealous of Eliza Dushku

• People who hated Marilyn Hotchkiss' Ballroom Dancing and Charm School

• Those who saw Ruthless People and never want to see Danny DeVito in a kidnapping movie again

• Popcorn-aholics who cannot wait until 15 minutes into the movie before starting in on their giant tub

• Those who prefer the Matrix to the Mini

• Fans of Slam Poetry

Amazon.com Widgets

Review of High School Musical 3: Senior Year (2008)

2008-10-30T17:39:00.003-06:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler• premiere photos • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of HSM 1 & 2

• People who love Zac Efron

• Fans of Kenny Ortega choreography – if you didn't see Newsies, see it!

• People who love movie musicals

• Anyone who's already invested in HSM sheets and pillow cases

• People who don't think basketball players can also carry a musical

• People who think Corbin Bleu is the latest salad dressing from the Paul Newman collection

• Those who cannot stand Disney® musicals especially ones starring kids from the cover of Tiger Beat

• Parents of kids that won't stop talking about High School Musical

• People who think it's unrealistic for characters in film to suddenly break into song and elaborate dance numbers

• Anyone who might mistake a Zac Efron for a new birth control device

• People who prefer opera

Amazon.com Widgets

Review of Pride and Glory (2008)

2008-10-24T11:49:00.003-06:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler• premiere photos • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Those who love derivative cop dramas without twists and thrills

• Anyone who believes they'd enjoy seeing a baby threatened with a steam iron

• People who didn't see The Departed

• Long-term fans who've been waiting for this film for 9 years and really don't care how it turned out

• Those who can never get enough clichés in one movie

• If you thought John Voight was wooden in Transformers

• People who have gotten bored feeding and playing with their kid's Webkinz®

• Fans of director Gavin O'Connor's film Miracle

• People who are tired of 'dirty' cop films

• Fans of Edward Norton and Colin Farrell

• People who didn't take enough Español in high school to be able to understand scenes with out subtitles

• Anyone confused to think the title has to do with having Pride and earning Glory

• Those who think the 'f-bomb' is best used sparsely

• People who think Angel Tezo sounds like a new Starbucks® blended tea

Amazon.com Widgets

Review of W. (2008)

2008-10-23T02:47:00.001-06:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler• premiere photos • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Republican, Democrats, and Independents
• People who think Josh Brolin is riding on the shoulders of his famous parents
• Fans of James Cromwell, Ellen Burstyn, Toby Jones, Elizabeth Banks, and Thandie Newton
• People who thought Richard Dreyfus had retired
• People who were too young to have understood what was going on from 2001-2004
• People who don't know what the Bush Doctrine is
• People who doubt the loyalty of Colin Powell

• People who just want to move on
• People who've drunk so much Rush Limbaugh flavored powered beverages over the past 8 years they're brain is complete washed of all reason and common sense
• People who don't want to admit the truth
• Democrats who think this film is going to totally skewer George W. Bush—it does but it also makes him a more empathetic figure
• Fans of Jason Ritter and Noah Wyle
• People who still think the Iraq War was a good idea

Amazon.com Widgets

Review of The Secret Life of Bees (2008)

2008-10-22T15:33:00.001-06:00

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DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of Dakota Fanning, Alicia Keys, Queen Latifah, and Sophie Okonedo

• People who like honey

• Those who love gothic southern novels

• Fans of female-driven films with excellent acting and directing

• Fans of the book, The Secret Life of Bees

• People who relish heart-warming stories about the journey of self-discovery

• People who fear bees

• People who don't wish to relive the horrors of 1960s racism

• People who are never satisfied with films adapted from novels

• People who don't like predictable movies

• People who think a movie with Alicia Keys and Jennifer Hudson where they don't sing is pretty ludicrous

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Review of Max Payne (2008)

2008-10-21T16:35:00.001-06:00

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• Fans of the video game who don't expect a completely literal translation to film

• People who like dark, graphic novels

• Fans of Mila Kunis

• People who've always wanted to see Chris O'Donnell portray a villain

• People who want to escape the reality of W.

• People who think video games make for the best sources for film adaptations

• People who don't like dark, ominous, hope-drained films

• Anyone who fears the Valkyries

• Fans of Nelly Furtado—she's in it for about 5 minutes

• Fans of Ludacris and / or Beau Bridges

• People who are operating on only a few hours of sleep

• People who think the Valkyrie mythology will play a heavy roll in the film

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Review of Sex Drive (2008)

2008-10-16T20:18:00.001-06:00

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• People who think something like a "Comedy Central" version of Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist could be a very good idea for a movie

• Fans of Josh Zuckerman, Amanda Crew, and Clark Duke

• People who thought that the careers of James Marsden and Seth Green couldn't sink any lower

• People who cannot get enough of that classic American Pie teen shtick humor

• Teens who don't think there are any possible negative consequences to setting up long distance relationships with people you don't know over chat lines

• People who think a walking, talking donut is just about the scariest thing they could ever imagine

• People who don't think it's right to satirize the life of the Amish or to make fun of rumspringa

• If you don't like the DVD series "Girls Gone Wild"

• Anyone who finds the concept of a guacamole donut repulsive

• Nerds looking for love life advice

• People who thought Superbad was

Review of The Duchess (2008)

2008-10-15T16:51:00.002-06:00

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• People who love lavish costumes and hairstyles from England in the late 1700s

• Fans of Keira Knightley and Dominic Cooper

• Anglophiles

• Fans of slow, pastoral, picturesque films that lack action and dynamism

• People who love classical music

• People who don't know anything about the life of the real Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire

• Fans of Ralph Fiennes

• Fans of the Georgiana: Duchess of Devonshire by Amanda Foreman upon which the film was based

• Francophiles

• People who fear tall hair

• Fans of the real Duchess of Devonshire

• People who prefer a great story above all over great costuming, set design, and acting

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Review of Body of Lies (2008)

2008-10-12T13:58:00.003-06:00

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• Fans of a bearded Leonardo DiCaprio and a 50lbs+ Russell Crowe both with southern accents—there's some reference that DiCaprio's charater is from North Carolina

• People confused by all the buzz directed toward English actor Mark Strong

• Those who like to receive two films for the price of one

• Fans of W. H. Auden poetry—well, at least a quotation from his poem "September 1, 1939" opens the film, but that might not mean you'll love the movie

• People who read the novel upon which the film is based and have not been able to sleep a wink knowing that a film version was about unspool

• Political activists who think the war on terror has gone too far

• Afficionados of motion picture make-up artistry especially when it comes to making poor Leonardo DiCaprio look like his face has been through the meat grinder

• People who like to speculate as to the accuracy of the latest spy gimmicks in films

• People who think a film set in Jordan shouldn't be filmed in Morocco

• Those who've grown tired of Middle Eastern Terrorist / CIA movies

• People who suffer from cynophobia

• People who've read enough spy thrillers to last a lifetime

• Owners of black SUVs that have to drive home through the desert after the movie

• People hoping to get some new perspective on spy thrillers

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Review of City of Ember (2008)

2008-10-11T14:45:00.001-06:00

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• Fans of Harry Treadaway, Saoirse Ronan, and a villainous Bill Murray

• People who love incredible make-believe city sets with intricate designs and features

• Inventors and people how like gadgets

• People who wonder what happened to Mackenzie Crook after his role in Pirates of the Caribbean 3

• Fans of Thomas Edison and Martin Landau

• People who don’t require a spectacular and climatic ending

• Fans of Walden Media—the people who have been converting all of the classing young adult novels into films of late from Bridge to Terabithia and Nim's Island to The Chronicles of Narnia and Journey to the Center of the Earth

• Fans of director Gil Kenan—the guy who brought you Monster House

• People who would like to support films filmed in Northern Ireland

• Fans of the book—you're not likely to be satisfied by this adaptaion

• People with noctiphobia, zemmiphobia, or potamophobia

• People who think 12-year old characters should be played by 12-year old actors

• People who like to figure out the metaphors of a film and look beneath the surface

• People who don’t like films that set up the need for sequels

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Review of Quarantine (2008)

2008-10-10T14:06:00.001-06:00

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• Fans of scary movies that don't have much of a point
• People who do not get motion sickness
• Those who like the group scare experience of seeing a scary movie with a giant willing audience—especially when there are some parts of this film that score big laughs—though that may not have been the intention of the director
• Fans of hearing Jennifer Carpenter panic and scream for about 30 straight minutes
• Fans of Steve Harris—didn't this guy used to have some standards?
• Fans of Jay Hernandez—what's a 'good', 'scary' movie these days without him?
• People who don't suffer from zemmiphobia or suriphobia
• People who known how to brandish a sledge hammer
• Anyone who wouldn't be bothered by this incongruity…if the power's out, how does the elevator run?
• People bothered by violent images, bloody messes, depictions of human carnage and so on

• People under the age of 17
• People that have just eaten a full meal, doused down with a super-size beverage, and complemented by a jumbo nacho with extra hot peppers [unless you promise to sit in the very front row with no one in front of you]
• People tired of the "Blair Witch Project effect"—basically to make a movie really, really, really scary, you film it such that it's from the perspective of one cameraman who's in the group with all of the requisite jostling, ultra-quick pans, and so on to the point of nearly making you nauseas before you get sick to your stomach from what's on screen
• Anyone who likes a movie that ends instead of one that just ends—if you know what I mean
• People who prefer their horror movies utilize a variety of scare tactics rather than just one--a nearly constant barrage of things jumping out at you from every unanticipated angle
• Those with severe cynophobia, claustrophobia, pathophobia, or especially, achluophobia
• People who saw the trailer, because the scariest and, perhaps, best moment of the movie is given away
• People who saw the film upon which Quarantine was based, Spanish director, Jaume Balagueró's [Rec]

Review of Ghost Town (2008)

2008-10-09T15:57:00.002-06:00

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DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of Greg Kinnear, Téa Leoni, Ricky Gervais, and Billy Campbell—they are all terrific

• People who love movies filmed in NYC

• Fans of dramedy

• People who can see dead people or live people—both will probably enjoy this movie

• Anyone looking for an incentive to go see their dentist right away

• Obnoxious people seeking a new path

• People who need their soul warmed up along with their heart

• "SNL" fans of Kristen Wiig who plays an hilarious spray-tanned surgeon

• People with severe phasmophobia or dentophobia

• People who didn't like The Sixth Sense

• People with no sense of humor

• People who are afraid of dogs the size of horses

• Those who have been mummified

• People with no social conscience

• Ghostbusters

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Review of The Express (2008)

2008-10-08T20:16:00.002-06:00

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DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Football fans and historians of the game

• Cleveland Browns Fans (you've got to love the little brownie logo featured in the film) and Denver Broncos Fans (you've got to see where Floyd Little came from)

• People who love a good sports hero story, but also those who are prepared for a heart-warming and courageous story but with and tragic, gut-wrenching ending

• Fans of Dennis Quaid

• Fans of Ernie Davis and Jim Brown

• Fans of the Syracuse Orangemen

• People stuck in the antiquated past

• People weary of inspirational sports-themed movies

• People who think their future should be handed to them on a silver platter

• Anyone who doesn't appreciate the skills of a great football player

• People who just don't like the color orange under any circumstances

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Review of Appaloosa (2008)

2008-10-08T14:20:00.002-06:00

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• People who love pastoral, slow-paced westerns with beautiful scenery and old western sets

• Fans of Viggio Mortensen, Jeremy Irons, and Ed Harris

• People who might say, "You had me at prairie," and actually mean it

• Fans of moustaches with flourish

• People who think it would be fun to live again under the code of the old west

• Fans of Renée Zelwegger

• People how don't like predictable plots and endings

• Anyone who thought 3:10 to Yuma was amazing

• Fans of Appaloosa horses, the title comes from the town not horse

• People who think "rode hard and put away wet" is not a good thing

• Equinophobes

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Review of Blindness (2008)

2008-10-05T13:10:00.001-06:00

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• Fans of José Saramago's literature – not a perfect adaptation, but still cool
• Fans of Julianne Moore, Danny Glover, Gael García Bernal, and Alice Braga
• People who enjoy futuristic fables
• Fans of terrifying movies—not necessarily horrifying movies
• People who believe in the ultimate good of humanity
• People who want to support international, independent filmmaking or whom maybe are sick of the Hollywood spin on films—this film is a Japanese / Brazil / Canada co-production of a Portuguese Nobel-laureate's novel, directed by a Brazilian director, and starring mostly North American actors
• Fans of Brazilian director Fernando Meirelles

• Fans of Mark Ruffalo—not his best performance
• Fans of Sandra Oh—her part is miniscule
• People who are never happy with a movie based on a book
• Scotomaphobes and scatophobes
• People who don't like films about the possible decay of civilization
• People who think scary films must feature zombies, psycho killers in masks, radioactive humanoids in the hills, mechanical torture devices, or chainsaws
• People offended by nudity in film

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Review of Beverly Hills Chihuahua (2008)

2008-10-04T13:50:00.002-06:00

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DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• People who like mind-numbing, films with talking-animals and bad special effects
• People who have looked at the movie listings and have seen every other possible movie out there including at the $1 theatres, checked the television listings, been to every museum in their town that's open, read every book in their house, taken every free adult extended learning class in their local free university, donated to every local charity both time and money, and never desired to just adopt a real puppy who desperately needs a home
• Fans of Manolo Cardona—you might also want to start a petition to save his career
• Fans of heroic German Shepherds, kind iguanas, and comical mice
• People who don't believe that the Walt Disney® Company ever misses
• Anyone trying to hide from someone who had good movie taste

• People who don't like talking animal movies
• Anyone who doesn't like Chihuahuas
• People who don't like Drew Barrymore, Jamie Lee Curtis, or Piper Perabo
• If you've set your bar low for this film based on the trailer, you are right, and while the film might exceed the lowest expectations, that doesn't make it a good film or worth seeing
• Cynophobes
• Children under 9
• People on their first date

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Review of Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist (2008)

2008-10-03T15:52:00.002-06:00

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• Fans of Michael Cera and Kat Dennings
• People who like a good romantic, teen comedy with some unusually good teen characters [though there are plenty of stereotypical ones too] and a better plot than say, Superbad?
• Anyone who thinks it's fun to trace the path of a piece of chewing gum from character to character in a movie
• If you thought Aaron Yoo was great, this is his best role
• Anyone who's ever been dumped by the love of their life on their b-day
• People who refuse to give up their banana yellow Yugo no matter the offer on eBay
• Guys that could use a lesson on how to get the girl of your dreams without really trying

• People who thought that music was going to play a more prominent role in the film
• Fans who hoped for a literal adaptation of the book
• Emetophobes, melophobes, homophobes or those who suffer from severe mysophobia
• People seeking Where's Fluffy
• Self-important types that would dump someone they supposedly love on their b-day, oh, and cheat on them the entire relationship—sometimes the mirror is not a good place to look
• People who share their iTunes™ playlists hoping for a date

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Review of Miracle at St. Anna (2008)

2008-10-03T11:33:00.002-06:00

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• Fans of Spike Lee joints
• People who want to see a film that deserves to be called one of the year's best on the big screen rather than months later on DVD where it does not belong
• Those who are eager to see the incredible performances of four outstanding, up-and-coming actors: Derek Luke, Michael Ealy, Laz Alonso, and Omar Benson Miller
• If you want to see a child performance that rivals Academy Award® nominee, Haley Joel Osment's Six Sense portrayal
• Anyone fascinated by the loss and retrieval of antiquities
• There have been changes from the book to the movie, but because James McBride wrote the book and the screenplay, it's safe to say people who read the book will enjoy the film
• Anyone worried that The Dark Knight would have no competition this year for the Academy Awards®

• People incapable of distinguishing fiction from non-fiction
• People who do not like epic war films which show the grim reality of battle
• Well, fans of John Turturro, Kerry Washington, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt should be forewarned that their total combined screen time stands at fewer than seven minutes, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't necessarily see the film
• Anyone unprepared to some in-your-face confrontations along racial lines and the history of racism in America
• If you don't like intricate, complicated interacting plots with many puzzles and subtitles, and twists

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Review of Religulous (2008)

2008-10-02T15:29:00.002-06:00

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• People who can get past Bill Maher's obvious disdain for people not as 'enlightened' as he thinks he is and actually learn a thing or two about the what he perceives to be the problems with organized religion
• Anyone questioning the place for organized religion in his or her life
• People who dutifully send off their hard-earned, weekly wages to a televangelist of their choice
• People making plans to visit Holy Land Experience Theme Park in Orlando instead of your traditional Universal Studios® or Disney® World
• Long-haul truckers who don't think there's a way to keep church in their lives
• Anyone who has come to the realization that their religious leanings are keeping them from really enjoying life
• USA Christians who want to know what the rest of the world's Christians are up to
• People who got sent off to conversion camp so they wouldn't be so theophobic but it didn't stick
• People who think organized religions are just plain religulous
• If you lost a close friend to religion

• People who, no matter what, can never be convinced that human beings as we know them and dinosaurs never roamed the earth together except in "Flintstone" cartoons
• People who don't get Bill Maher and don't want to get Bill Maher
• People who think that an anti-organized religion movie is just for them but also assume that the writer and director will use a logical, coherent, well-organized method of presenting their thoughtful and persuasive evidence—remember this film was directed by the same guy who brought us Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
• People who think this film will be as funny as "Entourage", "Dilbert", "Mad About You", or "Seinfeld"
• People with acute gnosiophobia

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Review of The Lucky Ones (2008)

2008-10-01T13:09:00.005-06:00

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DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of Tim Robbins, Michael Peña, and Amy McAdams

• People who crave a wandering journey for their soul, but not an outcome

• People who don't believe in luck

• Fans of Neil Burger

• Supporters of the Iraq War who forget there are actually troops, real people, over there

• Anyone suspicious of a boaster who claims to have robbed a casino on Las Vegas

• People who heard John Heard is in it

• Loathers of obtuse, oblique endings

• People who've lost someone in a war

• Anyone who sold an old guitar at a garage sale for a quick $10

• Husbands and wives of Service People

• Aviatophobiacs, lilapsophobiacs, and medomalacuphobiacs

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Review of Eagle Eye (2008)

2008-09-29T15:04:00.004-06:00

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DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• People who love the Dreamworks little, barefoot fisher kid logo at the start of their films
• Fans of government conspiracy theory, action thrillers
• Anyone who has noticed an inexplicable sum of money that they know isn't theirs show up in their personal checking account
• People who prefer Shia with scruff
• Anyone who's ever been a Copy Cabana Boy
• Star-crossed lovers who met in a crate
• Fans of boy-girl action hero pairs
• People who doubted Michelle Monaghan had the right stuff for action thrillers
• Fans of giant special effects films with cool gadgets
• People who don't like arias

• Owners of Porsche Cayennes who couldn't bear to see one destroyed
• Fans of Billy Bob Thornton
• People who worry the FBI listens to their cell phone calls
• Anyone fearing anonymous activation
• Fans of Ethan Embry—he's in it for about 5 minutes
• People who hated Terminator, War Games, Minority Report, and the Die Hard films
• Anyone who'll be needing adrenalin for after-the-film activities
• People who think it's wrong to involve women and children in war games
• If you've got an sort of fear of government inventions taking over the world

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Review of Forever Strong (2008)

2008-09-28T13:29:00.002-06:00

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• If you love rugby
• People who are fans of stories based on actual events
• You like films filmed in Utah
• Fans of Gary Cole and Sean Faris
• High school coaches seeking to learn how to be a better coach and reach more players or who think the only way to coach is using a top-down, militaristic, 'my way or the highway' approach—learn from this coach whose record is 390-9 in 32 years with 18 national titles
• People who coach or play a competitive team sport at the high school level or above
• Those who like their character education without religious overtones
• People who like a great sports story that's not just about an underdog rising to the top but about a team of young people competing only with their own personal best
• Teens who feel above the law and that their purpose is to carouse and be free about town
• People who struggle to find their inner voice
• Owners of a copy of the Never Back Down DVD who've already worn it out

• People who don't want to see rugby shirts come back in fashion—remember how you could order like 50 different designs from Land's End?
• Fans of Penn Badgley as a good guy
• People who didn't care for the following films: Facing the Giants, Hoosiers, or Miracle
• Fans of Sean Astin who think he should have retired after Rudy
• People who aren't that into sports-themed movies
• Teenagers who don't want to develop any character or leadership, rather they'd prefer to continue to lead empty, meaningless "Gossip Girl" / "OC" lives
• Losers and/or Whiners
• People who cannot and won't ever listen…to anyone…no matter what because they know everything and nothing on this earth will ever change them…ever…so stop trying

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Review of Fireproof (2008)

2008-09-27T17:20:00.001-06:00

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• Those who know the difference between Albany, NY and Albany, GA
• If you're having marriage trouble and don't mind nearly two hours of Christian platitudes
• Fans of the expression, "Karate Chop Sandwich"
• If you had a school-age crush on Kirk Cameron that's never quite gone away—is it the curly hair, the ocean blue eyes, the snarky wolf in sheep's clothing grin?
• Anyone who thinks that being a firefighter is all hot sauce pranks and sliding down shiny poles
• People with oddball next door neighbors they cannot get enough of
• Anyone who's ever wanted to take a baseball bat to his or her computer because it keeps popping up annoying porn ads

• Anyone who finds this quotation from the film annoying, "A woman is like a rose. If you treat her well she blooms. If you don't she wilts."
• If you think After School Specials should be just for kids
• Sorry, but if you think that a salt and pepper shaker should not be used as an analogy for why a couple should stay married
• If you aren't prepared for the high pressure, time share salesman pitch for why you should be jumping aboard the Christian train
• If you believe that, in a marriage, if both members of the partnership are equally guilty of the problems they should be equally responsible for the fix
• People expecting this film to be as uplifting as Facing the Giants

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Review of Nights in Rodanthe (2008)

2008-09-25T22:49:00.005-06:00

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• People that go knowing this is not as good as The Notebook and have no expectations as such
• Fans of Diane Lane, Richard Gere, and James Franco
• People who like to get all romantic and don't mind if their partner has Chewbacca breath
• People who live in Rodanthe
• People who don't believe that 60 is the new 40 & 40 is the new 30—Richard Gere is 59 folks and Diane Lane is 43, but no way either looks it—va-va-vroom
• People who think wild ponies exist only in fairytales
• Anyone who thinks that James Franco's ego got too big to fit in the room after Pineapple Express
• Physicians who've lost their calling
• Fathers or Mothers on the outs with their children

• People who loved The Notebook and expect this to be as good, it's just not
• People who don't have a forgiving bone in their body
• People who thought "Romeo and Juliet" wasn't tragic enough
• Fans of "The Man Show"
• Fans of Christopher Meloni
• People with an irrational fear of driftwood art or whom might be offended by a canned goods toss
• Star crossed lovers who've already planned for one half of the pair to take a journey to an unspecified nation below the equator leaving the other alone with a pile of love letters and a song

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2008 Summer Movie Poll

2008-09-25T21:00:00.007-06:00

During the summer of 2008, 2cOrNot2c.net hosted a live poll for the major motion pictures released during the summer and the request that viewers of the poll simply select any of the movies they thought people should see.

Films 2c |

The big winner, of the Great 2cOrNot2c.net 2008 Summer Movie Poll, with 90% of respondents suggesting people see it, was The Dark Knight.

(click poster for The Dark Knight to purchase it or dozens of others)

Rounding out the top five were: Iron Man (45%), Wanted (43%), What Happens in Vegas (38%), Tropic Thunder (32%).

Films Not 2c |

Six films made the Not 2c List based on earning a pathetically low score with only 5% of respondents saying people should see the films: College, Disaster Movie, Fly Me to the Moon, The Love Guru, Made of Honor, and The Strangers.

Complete Results of the Poll

Dark Knight, The	90%
Iron Man	45%
Wanted	43%
What Happens in Vegas	38%
Tropic Thunder	32%
Swing Vote	27%
Happening, The	25%
Kung Fu Panda	23%
Hancock	21%
Mamma Mia! The movie	21%
Rocker, The	21%
Chronicles of Narnia 2, The	18%
Journey to the Center 3D	18%
Wall-E	18%
Meet Dave	16%
Mummy 3, The	16%
Hellboy 2	14%
Pineapple Express	14%
Indiana Jones 4	12%
Sex and the City: The Movie	12%
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants	12%
Get Smart	10%
House Bunny, The	10%
Space Chimps	10%
Speed Racer	10%
X-Files: I Want to Believe	10%
Babylon A.D.	9%
Step Brothers	9%
You Don't Mess with the Zohan	9%
Incredible Hulk, The	7%
Kit Kittredge	7%
Mirrors	7%
Star Wars: The Clone Wars	7%
Traitor	7%
College	5%
Disaster Movie	5%
Fly Me to the Moon	5%
Love Guru, The	5%
Made of Honor	5%
Strangers, The	5%

Review of Towelhead (2008)

2008-09-25T10:18:00.002-06:00

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• Fans of director Alan Ball who are prepared to see his most controversial work to date
• People who prefer not to have to guess what happened to a character based on inference or reaction but, rather, to see every frank detail
• Fans of scathing suburban satire
• Toni Collette Fans
• People looking for a definitive, modern, coming of age story that's as frank, raw, and untethered as anything before seen on film

• People who would rather not see all of the intimate details of a young girl's coming of age in quite such graphic detail as Director Alan Ball chooses to show
• Anyone offended by the title—you won't make it through the film
• People with privacy issues
• Fans for the ethical treatment of animals
• Fans of Maria Bello
• People not eager to see Aaron Eckhart portray an unseemly, creepy statutory rapist
• Those who feel a title should be more revealing as to the subject matter of the film

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Review of Flash of Genius (2008)

2008-09-24T14:02:00.004-06:00

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• Anyone who's ever had a great idea
• People who've dream of inventing but never took "the next step"
• If you've ever wondered, who thought of the idea of intermittent windshield wipers
• Fans of Greg Kinnear and Lauren Graham
• People who don't think you can fight the establishment and win
• People who've had their own flash of genius
• Those who've been waiting for good, old-fashioned might vs. right, "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" style movie
• Crooks who think it's ok to steal other people's ideas
• Fans of Herman Melville's Moby Dick

• People who get frustrated easily
• People who only like seeing Alan Alda play good guys
• People who don't want to believe there could be any truth to conspiracy theories
• Those who aren't principled enough to turn down an offer of $400K because it doesn't come with an apology
• People who aren't going to be able to be convinced that downloading music and movies for free without paying the people who made them is illegal and morally wrong—you won't get this movie at all

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Review of How to Lose Friends & Alienate People (2008)

2008-09-23T16:27:00.004-06:00

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• Ravenous fans of Simon Pegg
• People who want to see Gillian Anderson play something other than a helpless FBI agent always crying for the protection of Fox Mulder
• Anyone who thought Jeff Bridges career began and ended with The Vanishing
• Hopeless romantics willing to overlook a little bit of a stale romance
• Pranksters who've themselves been guilty of hiring an exotic dancer to surprise their boss not realizing there is such a thing as "Father-Daughter Day at Work"
• People who think it would be appropriate to show up for your first day at work at a new magazine wearing a bright red, "I'm Young, and Fun, and full of _ _ _ _" t-shirt
• Those who know the difference between flirting and just being creepy
• People who have too many friends or don't know how to alienate others

• Dog people who couldn't stomach the implied squishing of an ornery little Chihuahua named Cuba by a ceramic vase four times his size
• People who would find a fake movie about a lustful Mother Theresa blasphemous
• USAers who never quite got the British sense of humor that propelled the likes of Monty Python and Benny Hill to the top of the UK charts
• People who don't think celebrities take themselves too seriously
• People who still believe that upside down Spider-man / Mary Jane kiss was the sexiest thing ever witnessed in a movie
• People who think Brad Pitt is a cave in Yorkshire
• Anyone bothered by Blondes dating Red Heads
• People unwilling to compromise on good story vs. raw humor

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Review of Igor (2008)

2008-09-22T12:52:00.002-06:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler• premiere photos • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of top-notch, grade A+, CGI animation
• Fans of John Cusack, Steve Buscemi, Sean Hayes, and the spirited Molly Shannon
• People smart enough to see the allegory in this fairly complicated story
• Children under 13 only with a parent or guardian who has already seen the film
• People with a fondness for theatre of the absurd and existentialism
• Fans of Roald Dahl and the Brothers Grimm, oh and Mary Shelley's Frankenstein
• People who think there's been just about enough evil in the world lately
• People who get this reference, "They say that the brain of the world's smartest man is stored in a jar somewhere. This is not that brain."
• Adult fans of animated films looking for something new, novel, out-there, and not just for kids

• People named Igor (just kidding)
• People who might get confused easily when confronted with too much evil as to who are the good 'evil' guys and who are the bad 'evil' guys
• Those without a dark sense of humor and no 'evil' bone in their body
• People hoping for a cheerful, happy, fairytale animated film
• People offended by the abuse of second class citizens even in animated films and even if they eventually overcome their culturally imposed station in life
• People with no sustained sense of humor potential and who want to nit-pick a film before they even see it
• People who thought The Bee Movie was bad for kids and or grown-ups--storywise anyway

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Review of Lakeview Terrace (2008)

2008-09-21T15:44:00.003-06:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler• premiere photos • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of Samuel L. Jackson that don't care about the plot of the movie more than care about seeing him perform
• People who cannot wait until the late-night tv debut of this film
• People who thought Kerry Washington got the shaft in F4: Rise of the Silver Surfer
• People who don’t think it's mean to take away a kid's iPod during breakfast
• People who don't live in the path of LA County fires
• People who have never seen a racially loaded psycho-drama
• People who like to do donuts in an ice-covered cul-de-sac on a cold winter's day while attempting to balance an open Thermos® of hot cocoa on their knee [note: do not try this unless you are a professional driver on a closed course wearing fire-proof, heat resistant pants]

• People who have a hard time with racially loaded or explosive films
• People who live on a cul-de-sac in LA
• People who saw and loved Pacific Heights
• Fans of Patrick Wilson or Kerry Washington
• People with suspicious neighbors
• People who drive a Toyota® Prius and work at a Whole Foods-like market
• Fans of Ladder 49, Backdraft, and Firehouse Dog
• People who don't have money to burn

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Review of My Best Friend's Girl (2008)

2008-09-20T14:07:00.002-06:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler• premiere photos • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• People who never saw: Fool's Gold, Over Her Dead Body, Good Luck Chuck or the MTV Series "Undressed"
• Fans of Jason Biggs who never tire of watching him portray doey-eyed, love-sick, puppy dog guys who never get the girl; or, at least, not the girl they want
• Anyone who took the bet that Kate Hudson's career would not see the light of day after this string of winners: The Skeleton Key; You, Me & Dupree; and Fool's Gold
• Forgiving types who really go to see Dane Cook movies because no dude can pull off the scruffy beard better than he
• Fans of Donut art
• Anyone who sided with Kim Basinger in her divorce with Alec Baldwin
• Guys who've always wanted to get the most diabolical revenge ever conceived on the girls who dumped them
• Any girl contemplating dumping a really nice dude
• Fans of Groucho Marx's eyebrows

• People who might be offended by a mock religious pizza joint called Cheesus Crust
• Fans of ROMANTIC and COMEDIC romantic comedies
• People who upon sitting down in the chair at the hair salon, learn that the person behind the razor is an easily distracted trainee
• People who can only see a few films this fall
• If you're the kind who doesn't like people being mean to each other or that the ends don't justify the means
• Teenagers under 17 who sneak into every [R]-rated film assuming there's a darn good reason people are trying to keep them out
• People who cannot figure out that it's the job of the trailer editors to make you want to see a movie

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Review of Burn After Reading (2008)

2008-09-19T14:26:00.003-06:00

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DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Curious Coen Bros. fans anxious to see how they follow up on No Country for Old Men—just don't go with high expectations even if it seems like an all-star cast
• People who didn't get enough of a sardonic, cruel, vindictive Tilda Swinton or the awkward chemistry between her and George Clooney from Michael Clayton
• Those who make a hobby of counting the number of times various four-letter words appear in a film—you really have to pay attention to John Malkovich's character, Osborne Cox because he has a habit of using two in variation in the same sentence
• Well, Brad Pitt fans will love him and his character in this film where he plays one of his funniest and best comedic characters ever, but be prepared for a shock
• Anyone who has low, low, low expectations for a story such that it need not draw you in, engage you in the filmmakers' passions, and take you on a journey of discovery to places you've never been

• People who don't like the Coen Bros. movies
• People who like to see the good guys finish first
• Fans of Frances McDormand's Police Chief Marge Gunderson
• Anyone who might be haunted by images of John Malkovich in his boxer shorts wielding and axe worse than they were by images of Jack Nicholson in The Shining
• Those who do not prefer violence for the sake of it
• Fans of No Country for Old Men
• People who voted for George Clooney as the Sexiest Man Alive five times
• People who saw the trailer and thought this was going to be a really, really, really, really, really good movie
• People who work hard for their money

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Review of Righteous Kill (2008)

2008-09-18T09:30:00.002-06:00

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DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• "Überfans" of De Niro and Pacino
• People who like to see other people get what's coming to them
• If you don't mind seeing a lot of blood spilled at close range
• Anyone who's ever fantasized about a really naughty character being played by Carla Gugino
• Filmgoers for whom their September isn't complete without a dark, pointed, depressing, NYPD cop film or else a musical version of the same produced by Steven Bochco, of course
• Hey, 50 Cent plays Spider, what more do you want?
• People who are sharpening their Brian Dennehy grimace to prove it's more menacing than the Nicolas Cage grimace
• If New York City grime crime is your prime time

• People who thought the ending for The Departed was too cynical
• Fans of movies with twists you cannot figure out until the last moment
• People who don't like films with an interior monologue
• Donnie Wahlberg fans who still believe he's the better actor among the Wahlberg brothers
• People who never get bored of "Dancing with the Stars"—this is more like "Shooting with the Stars"
• Anyone subscribing to the notion that we don't need any more Hollywood justification for vigilantism especially bearing the names of two of the biggest legends in acting today
• People hoping to get an early look at a Best Picture nominee likewise when it comes to Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Costume, Best Director, not sure about Best Score, that's a possibility
• Fans of New Kids on the Block who want to ensure that Donnie earns more money from his comeback tour than this film

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Review of Bangkok Dangerous (2008)

2008-09-11T14:12:00.005-06:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of the Pang Brothers—you will probably get more out of this film than most
• Viewers who are not bothered by dark, vacuous endings deep in sorrow and self-reflection
• Travelers who want to see films set and filmed in Bangkok regardless of the plot
• Fans of Nicolas Cage's increasingly deadpan, teeth-clenched, mortal combat grimace
• Fans of the delightful Charlie Young—the break out star of the film
• Action thriller fans who've gotten tired of all that action and just want one, maybe two brief stints of action and one motorcycle chase
• People who think there's nothing you wouldn't do for 3,000 baht a day

• Anyone previously known to endure profoundly disturbing nightmares induced by the hairstyle of Tom Hanks in The Da Vinci Code
• People impacted negatively by excessive violence, blood, and murder
• Superstitious people who know what a picture of an elephant with it's trunk hanging down symbolizes to Thai people
• Movie fans who expect to know the protagonist forward and backward before having to decide if he's a good or a bad guy
• Those who remember well, the good old days of Leaving Las Vegas when we thought Nicolas Cage and Elisabeth Shue would grow old together
• People who already saw Babylon A.D. and / or Death Race – how much darkness can one take in the same month?

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Films from Summer 2008

2008-09-11T14:00:00.000-06:00

[click a title to see the review]

American Teen • Babylon A.D. • College • The Dark Knight • Death Race • Disaster Movie • Hamlet 2 • Henry Poole is Here • The House Bunny • Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D • Mamma Mia! • Meet Dave • Mirrors • The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor • Pineapple Express • The Rocker • Space Chimps • Star Wars: The Clone Wars • Step Brothers • Swing Vote • Traitor • Tropic Thunder • The X-Files: I Want to Believe

Review of Disaster Movie (2008)

2008-09-07T21:05:00.002-06:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• People who've been pining away for a spoof of Disney® hot properties High School Musical and Step-Up (1 and 2)
• Fans who always knew that Matt Lanter, formerly of "Manhunt" had a leading role in him yet
• Anyone who, no matter how stale the genre has become, cannot get enough of rollicking, sick-out, spoof comedies in the vein established by the Wayan Bros. with their Scary Movie franchise
• "Mad TV" star Ike Barinholtz fans – he's really the big star of this movie, for what that's worth – who does everyone from Javier Bardem's cold No Country for Old Men assassin to Batman to Prince Caspian to a completely naked Beowulf
• People who didn't quite get J.J. Abrams's Cloverfield
• Fans of Indiana Jones IV who didn't think it was a big enough spoof in and of itself of the original acclaimed film series
• People who don't mind spoof films that don't have a coherent plot
• Anyone who won't succumb to film-induced nightmares due to cinematic exposure to rabid, animatronic chipmunks
• Everyone who saw Juno and thought that Ellen Page was particularly over the top in her portrayal of teen angst gone Etch-a-Sketch®
• People who loved Date Movie and Epic Movie

• Fans of Meet the Spartans who thought co-writers / directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer had finally found their groove
• People offended by singing and dancing during fake disasters
• Carmen Electra and Kimberly Kardashian fans
• Anyone who shudders at the thought of a fake pregnant, unwed teenager break dancing on the bloated belly of her unborn child
• People who think spoofing is one thing, but spoofing great works of Disney® or the "Sex and the City" girls is pure heresy
• People who didn't like the Disaster Movie posters
• People who know an even better, uncut, no holds barred version will be coming to DVD, Blu-Ray, and Download in a matter of weeks
• Anyone who grows bored quickly if a "Saturday Night Live" sketch runs a bit long
• People who loved Meet the Spartans

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Review of College (2008)

2008-09-07T20:04:00.002-06:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of Andrew Caldwell and Ryan Pinkston—who'd want to miss these two "break out" performances after all--and who don't comprehend sarcasm and who actually have heard of Andrew Caldwell and/or Ryan Pinkston
• Anyone who's ever wondered how low Gary Owen will stoop for a paycheck—to give you an idea, it's so low he could crawl under the low hanging endowment of Van Wilder's pooch
• Frat boys who dreamed up frat house pranks and thought they had no consequences
• Producers who've been given the line, "It's going to be like the next Superbad, only badder!"
• People who didn't get enough of pig stampedes in their State Fairs this summer and fall
• Anyone who fantasizes of taking body shots at a frat party
• People who cannot read this section

• Diners who just ate a decent-sized meal seeking relaxing digestion conditions
• People who haven't already sold their soul the devil
• Anyone who's IQ could be injured by a film less entertaining than the OSHA mandated blood born pathogen video which is required viewing of anyone with a job he or she might have to come in contact with the bodily fluids of other people
• Fans of "American Idol" Kevin Covais (aka Chicken Little) who don't want their crispy, clean image of him permanently stained
• College kids—um, this movie is Rated-R, but it's the kind of movie only a high school kid could like, and then only because he heard at school from a kid who lied and said he sneaked in and saw it but who was actually too chicken to sneak in and ruin his chances of being elected captain of the debate team, that it was the "best movie ever, dude, it rocked my world"—famous last words
• Relatives of members of the cast

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Review of Babylon A.D. (2008)

2008-09-04T16:40:00.002-06:00

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DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Vin Diesel fans who are not bothered when his dialogue is limited and he's nearly able to be taken down by a nun
• USAers who've been awaiting eagerly a quintessential French action thriller
• Anyone who would have enjoyed of Children of Men or The Fifth Element minus their last 20 minutes
• People who didn't know that Gérard Depardieu is the French equivalent to Eddie Murphy when it comes to acting in disguise
• People who don't mind a lot of action hype build up toward an inexplicably thing finale

• People who have not yet developed a taste for French films
• Fans of Charlotte Rampling
• People who are bothered by excessive and needless violence and mayhem in films
• Little Miss Mary Sunshine
• People who are bothered by cinematography that blurs fight scenes to the point where it's hard to tell who's fighting who and definitely who's winning
• People who have to pay a lot for parking at the theatre
• Despite the comical PG-13 rating, the film is best not seen by children under 16
• Fans of the original book upon which the film was based, Babylon Babies by Maurice G. Dantec (check out the book)

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Review of Traitor (2008)

2008-08-31T09:09:00.003-06:00

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DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• People who like their thrillers with complicated back stories and twists that cause you to really think about and question your own ideals and sense of morality
• Saïd Taghmaoui and Neal McDonough fans
• Chicagoans who like to see their city on film no matter the plot
• Fans of Guy Pearce doing an American English accent in films
• People who've just been having too much fun this summer and need to take it down a notch before the seriousness of the Fall sets in

• People who are tired of seeing every thriller these days feature terrorist plots by people of Middle Eastern descent
• Fans of Don Cheadle in Reign Over Me or Talk to Me
• Those easily confused by intricate plot points or who fall asleep often during the good parts of a movie
• People who hope for a leading role for Archie Panjabi
• People offended by the incessant use of people of Middle Eastern descent as the new and most sinister of villains in geopolitical thrillers
• People who cannot tell the difference between fictional thrillers and actual historical fact

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Review of The House Bunny (2008)

2008-08-30T12:59:00.001-06:00

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DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Diehard Anna Faris fans
• People who were always sure that Katherine McPhee was headed for stardom no matter what Simon said
• Current Playboy Bunnies who want tips on how to break into the life of being a House Mother
• People who thought the remake of the famous Marilyn Monroe over the air grate scene shown in the preview was the funniest thing they've ever seen in their entire lives
• Curious folks who've been wondering what the daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore might look like now that she's all grown up
• Those who don't mind a film where mean girls are mean to nice girls who then become mean girls who are mean to other nice girls only to realize the hard way when the original mean girls are even meaner to the newly mean girls that they preferred being nice girls even if being nice girls means not getting a boyfriend
• People who don't watch ABC Family's "Greek", never saw National Lampoon's Animal House or Van Wilder, and missed out on Sydney White

• Fans of Colin Hanks
• Both gender's rights activists
• Fans of Playboy Magazine who didn't know the magazine is sometimes known for classy pieces of investigative reporting
• Men who have been hoping to keep quiet the news that they secretly might enjoy the playground torture known affectionately, albeit vulgarly, as the "titty twister"
• Fans of She's the Man who thought the same writers might hit a second homerun
• People who like their plots to be thicker than the eyebrows of the female cast
• Those who get instantly queasy at the site of chewed gum on the bottom of a restaurant table
• People longing for a Sydney White sequel

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Review of Hamlet 2 (2008)

2008-08-26T19:46:00.001-06:00

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DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• People who were not offended by South Park: The Movie and / or did not see South Park: The Movie exclusively because they hoped it would be offensive to everyone else.
• Fans of Steve Coogan
• Fans of musical theater and musicals as long as they don't meet any of the "who shouldn't see" criteria listed below
• People who are a bit fed up with the preaching, televangelist religious right in the USA
• People with lots of skeletons in their closet and don't mind adding a few more by putting "have seen Hamlet 2" on their list of transgressions against humanity
• People who have fantasized for 30 years about seeing Elizabeth Shue in a nurse's outfit
• People who are going to be ok when they find out that Hamlet 2 isn't really a sequel to "Hamlet"
• People who listen to "Rush Limbaugh" and "Sean Hannity" and "Glenn Beck" late at night to keep their blood pressure high so as not to fall asleep while driving and not because they agree with anything that spews out of their mouths
• People who don't get lost in a play within a play
•

• Fans of Catherine Keener
• Fans hoping this will revitalize Elizabeth Shue's career like Being John Malkovich revived the career of John Malkovich.
• People who are never, ever, not even after until Hell freezes over, going to think there is anything funny and not sinful about a song called "Rock Me Sexy Jesus"…and especially people who think this way and don't want to have the blasted song stuck in their heads for the next 3 straight days
• People who feel adultery is too sinful to sit through
• People who don't want to forgive and forget their past
• People who aren't looking for a little let alone a lot of catharsis in their lives
• People easily offended or ones who don't buy the commonly utilized "it's not offensive if you offend everyone" excuse for offensiveness
• Fans who are hoping to hear David Arquette do his thing and / or people who have recently brought in a handsome, younger boarder to offset the high cost of rent and have been leaving him at home alone for hours on end with their lonely, gravid spouse
• People who don't get any of the following SAT terms: satire, irony, or parody or that know them but don't want to see a movie that uses almost nothing else
• People who really do want to see a sequel to "Hamlet"

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Review of Death Race (2008)

2008-08-23T17:24:00.001-06:00

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DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of Jason Statham and his typical action movies
• Junkies for high octane, adrenalin-fueled video games
• People who can never get enough of Tyrese Gibson behind the wheel
• Aficionados of a little bit of entertainment called Demolition Derby – only in this version the drivers just might not survive
• People who've never seen Joan Allen play a malevolent, soulless witch, but want to
• Anyone who's ever wondered if their video games are rigged against them
• People who care less about the depth of the plot and the characters and more about the action and suspense
• People who have thought that the summer of 2008 lacked a big budget action film like last year's Die Hard 4 and were hoping that somehow their prayers would be answered by Death Race

• People who think a Jason Statham film without any kick boxing moves is just not a true Jason Statham film
• People who would be offended by jokes about the sexual orientation of Tyrese Gibson's character Machine Gun Joe—the only driver in the Death Race that has a male navigator instead of the female prisoners like everybody else
• People who think Hawai'ian shirts are best sported by tourists who proudly claim their AARP® membership
• Anyone who thinks Ian McShane and Joan Allen belong in Woody Allen films only
• Obviously, people who are the teeniest bit squeamish or dislike violence and death in film
• Moviegoers who prefer their plot and characters to be thicker than mountain dew on a melon on a nice morning in May

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Review of The Rocker (2008)

2008-08-22T09:31:00.003-06:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler• premiere photos • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of "The Office" and specifically (Rainn Wilson?)
• Clevelanders
• People who love teen angst hyped up on Monster® energy drinks
• People who don't know what the expression "revenge is a dish best served cold" means
• People who live vicariously through the lives of others
• People who think opportunity only knocks twice
• Adoring fans of Teddy Geiger
• Fans who think Christina Applegate's got milf!

• People offended by naked drummers, or more pointedly, aged stars of "The Office" drumming naked
• People who don't believe you can ever go back
• People still upset that the Rock-'n-Roll Hall of Fame is in Cleveland
• People who think revenge is a dish best served cold
• People who gave up on their dream, became a copy machine salesperson, and never long for all they feel they gave up or left behind--no need to rub more salt in your misery
• People who didn't appreciate the Hugh Grant / Drew Barrymore film, Music & Lyrics
• Fans of Vesuvius

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Songs from Teddy Geiger and The Rocker

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Review of Henry Poole is Here (2008)

2008-08-21T15:29:00.005-06:00

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DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• People who have lost faith in movies
• Fans of Luke Wilson
• People who loved Lars and the Real Girl
• Fans of independent films that make a difference in your life by the time the final credits roll
• People who prefer a simple film that touches you without the need for elaborate special effects. This is a story that can have a profound impact on you without you even realizing it.
• People of all religious faiths

• Cynics
• People who mistake faith for furniture
• People with no heart or soul
• People hoping for dumb comedy and gross out moments
• People who think a diet of donuts and cheap wine is irresponsible
• People who don't like sad films that take a long, long time before there's any happiness
• People who think they know better

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Review of Mirrors (2008)

2008-08-19T13:49:00.005-06:00

review • spoiler • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Paula Patton fans
• People who can read the backwards lettering on emergency vehicles without a mirror
• People who don't mind if the movie's ending is "left up to your own interpretation" or setting up for a sequel that will probably be straight to DVD
• Fans of great mirror special effects
• Fans of graphic and needlessly horrific, human death scenes
• Fans of wooden, soulless characters made more wooden and soulless by painful portrayls of actors on hiatus from their 24-hour TV show
• Growing legions of Alexandre Aja fans and who loved his film, P2.
• People who saw Stephen King's The Shining and figured out that "redrum" was more than a psychotic slogan of a possessed child.

• People who fear their own reflection
• People who believe that mirrors are windows to our soul
• Kieffer Sutherland fans that prefer to see him in 24-hour increments
• People who like their film endings all wrapped up with a bow
• Squeamish people
• People who expect their money spent on a ticket be reflected in the quality of the film
• People who believe that if you break a mirror you get 7 years of bad luck
• People who would like to have their fond remembrance of actress, Mary Beth Peil as Evelyn 'Grams' Ryan on "Dawson's Creek" stay intact
• People who cannot get through a movie without movie snacks

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Review of Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008)

2008-08-16T18:05:00.003-06:00

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DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• People who fear their own end if their Yoda-speak quota they do not soon fill
• Anyone who was confused how the story arc from Star Wars: The Attack of the Clones got to Star Wars: The Revenge of the Sith—if this film helps, then so be it
• Fans of the Lego® Star Wars games
• Fans of Matt Lanter's voice—forget that whole over-rated eye candy thing of this former star of "Manhunt: The Search for America's Most Gorgeous Male Model"
• People who doubted there were great female Jedi Knights
• Fans of technically great CGI animated films and whom can overlook the lack of a great story as long as the animation rocks
• People who preferred the humorless scenes of the Star Wars saga
• Star Wars fans who don't like Ewoks or Wookies farther than you could throw one
• People who always wondered what a baby Hutt looks like and won't be sickened to their stomach when they discover it's rather like something Jabba might have produced while sneezing
• People who thought the cut-up cadence of Ewan McGregor's take on Obi-Wan Kenobi added to his hipster status and want to hear it replicated perfectly by James Arnold Taylor

• People without spare income
• People without spare brain cells
• People who are hoping to get a glimpse into episodes 7, 8, and 9
• Fans of Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, and Ewan McGregor
• People who've not had a nap
• People who expect a Star Wars movie that has a good story like episodes 4, 5, and 6
• People outraged by Star Wars characters that seem to be stereotyped archetypes of humans of various cultural, regional, or religious backgrounds—this time around it's Ziro the Hutt with a Cajun Truman Capote accent and glow-in-the-dark tattoos.
• Fans of the special cameos like appearances of the E.T. family in the Senate chamber—there might be some in this film, but staying awake to notice them's not easy.
• People who already bought all the Star Wars: The Clone Wars action figures—any story you might make up yourself to play out at home is probably going to be better than this one.

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Review of Tropic Thunder (2008)

2008-08-15T11:49:00.002-06:00

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DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• People who get that satire is a higher form of art than inane, gross out comedy—which may not be art at all.
• People who don't mind spending some time thinking about a film when it's over…for a long time.
• People who respect actors who are trying to push themselves as actors to new and possibly controversial heights.
• Critics who still cannot believe that Robert Downey Jr. is for real.
• People who can stomach a movie that is Rated R for a reason.
• People who judge a movie before they see it.
• People who like their comedy, but not just for comedy's sake.
• People who love Ben Stiller bu who hated his last movie, The Heartbreak Kid.
• People willing to give Jack Black a new look after his wonderful performance as the cuddly panda hero Po in Kung Fu Panda.
• Fans of Jay Baruchel
• People who want to see Tom Cruise cut loose—this is probably the most fun he's ever had in a role in his life (well, other than maybe when he got to go all Risky Business on Rebecca De Mornay).

• People who think being politically correct is over-rated.
• People who cannot figure out the difference between an actor playing an actor who is unsophisticated, and the actor himself being unsophisticated.
• People who post in daily at iMDB calling for Dodgeball 2 to be made.
• People who think or thought blackface is or was funny.
• Warmongers
• People who enjoyed Snakes on a Plane
• Lightweight Stiller fans hoping for another Zoolander or Night at the Museum.
• Tobey Maguire fans—he's in it for 10 seconds.
• Steve Coogan fans—kind of the same reason as Tobey Maguire fans.
• People who don't want to know there might be something about Alpa Chino (Brandon T. Jackson).

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Review of Pineapple Express (2008)

2008-08-09T19:18:00.002-06:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler• premiere photos • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• People who think certain plants from which hemp is derived should be legalized for other purposes and whom are unclear why the rest of the country doesn't agree with them.
• People who have cleaned their lint traps, replaced their automatic toilet bowl cleaner, tested all the batteries in their smoke detectors, backed up their computer's hard drive, written thank you notes for last year's birthday presents, checked the air pressure in all four tires, over-nighted at the home of their in-laws to watch their home videos of their trips to the Spam® Museum, gotten their routine teeth cleaning, and scraped all the wax off the wax cups they've been collecting from McDonald's® over the past six months to make a candle.
• People who think steam rising off the Mojave Desert is pure, adrenalin-fueled excitement.
• People who've been looking for reasons to cancel their Judd Apatow Fan Club membership to make room in the budget to join the Hot Tamale Train for Michael Aguilar.

• Erudite people who expect movies to have a coherent plot, great acting, some relevance to the human condition, you know, things that generally make a movie good.
• People who think James Franco is on the fast track to being the James Dean that, most tragically, James Dean didn't live to become.
• Seth Rogen fans.
• People under 18.
• People who believe the hype that this is Dazed and Confused for a whole new generation.
• People who think Danny R. McBride is funnier than Rob Corddry.
• People who think Pineapple Express sounds like a delightful faux cocktail similar to a Shirley Temple or an Arnold Palmer.
• People looking to see a really funny comedy rather than a running gag that's been on "SNL" about 10 months too long.
• People who get uncomfortable in small, confined places.
• People who, under no circumstances, will ever walk out of a movie for any reason short of a power failure.
• People who would be very grossed out by seeing Seth Rogen playing a character who looks and acts 30ish dating a character played by Amber Heard who looks and acts 17.

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Review of Swing Vote (2008)

2008-08-07T14:39:00.002-06:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler • premiere photos • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• People who gave up on Kevin Costner just after Water World.
• Democrats who have no sense of humor.
• All political campaign managers.
• USA voters who've lost faith in the process—see this movie and believe again.
• New Mexicans
• Paula Patton fans.
• Independents…time to get off the fence, make a choice, and make a difference—every vote counts.

• Republicans who have no sense of humor.
• Fans of Abigail Breslin.
• Fans of reality tv that can no longer separate fact from fiction.
• Coloradoans who don't want to find out what they're missing because their state legislature will not endorse legislation favorable to the film industry that would make Colorado a desirable place to film movies funneling millions into the local economy…like neighboring state, New Mexico.
• People with a squeamish stomach and cannot stand the sight of baiting a hook with a live worm.
• People who cannot picture Kevin Costner portray an egg-factory worker, slow, irresponsible, beer-drinking dad.

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Review of The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)

2008-08-07T11:33:00.002-06:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler • premiere photos • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of the Brendan Fraser Mummy franchise.
• Fans of epic action adventures that go full throttle almost to excess. Seriously, imagine going to Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio and riding every roller coaster back-to-back with barely a moment in between to catch your breath?
• People who prefer an action movie without aliens.
• People glad to amp up on their Chinese lore just before the 08•08•08 Olympics in Beijing.
• Michelle Yeoh fans.
• Fans of outstanding CGI effects and some of the greatest character battle scenes since LOTR.
• People not bothered by yak yack.
• Colorado Avalanche Ice Hockey fans… there's no hockey, but there's an avalanche and lots of really cool Yeti.

• People who loathe sequels.
• People who loathe sequels made so long after the original films they've completely forgotten who's who and wouldn't even notice a new actress is playing a leading role in the film.
• Fans of Maria Bello…egad…and Rachel Weisz (she's not in it).
• People who don't like monster films, in particular mummy films.
• People who picketed, marched, and protested about critics being too hard on Indiana Jones 4.
• People who don't like American actresses doing English accents badly. How do the English say "truer" anyway?
• People bothered by excessive cheesiness in dialogue and plot.
• Jet Li Fans who still cannot accept that he did his last martial arts film a few years ago.
• People who wish Brendan Fraser would return to his 'sensitive' roles rather than these action hero roles.

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Review of Step Brothers (2008)

2008-08-03T10:12:00.008-06:00

Click Poster to Purchasereview • spoiler • premiere photos • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: 2 December 2008 (click date to purchase or pre-order)

• Fans who don't think Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly can do anything wrong when it comes to comedy.
• Fans who see EVERY movie touched even remotely by the Apatow name no matter how Superbad the movie.
• People who had a good or bad step-brother experience.
• People who think Chewbacca masks, night vision goggles, and cross bows are the toys of kings.
• Fans of Adam Scott—he's excellent when he's smarmy, and there's a scene of him and his family on the way to see mom and new step-dad involving singing in the car as a family that's possibly funnier in some ways than the rest of the movie.
• People not annoyed when over 3/4 of the funny parts of a movie are revealed in the trailer they've now seen 500 times.
• People who think it's an adventure of a lifetime to see a couple of 40-year old oafs beaten up by school kids and later exact their revenge via a helicopter and a merry-go-round punch-out scene.
• People who would find Will Ferrell dangling his tongue in doggy-doo-doo side-splitting, funny-bone tingling, tickle-pickle on a stick deep fat fried at the Minnesota State Fair good old-fashioned entertainment.

• People weary of seeing aged, physically unfit actors rushing around in their tighty-whities on screen for laughs.
• People who loved Superbad—this movie is sort of like Superbad with grown-ups who participate in teen-age hi-jinx, but without McLovvin' and other such things like bashing police officers and gallons of Tide® detergent to really make this film something to which teens can relate. There is however, lots of use of profanity and a requisite puking scene. This film is for the decidedly older crowd, punks! Go cry to your mommy.
• Fans of Mary Steenburgen—not sure if that is a spray-on tan or what, but one of Hollywood's most unsung, great actresses (see Time After Time) looks like she's been dipped in a Starbucks® Caramel Latte and then left out under the Malibu sun to dry. Meanwhile her performance is…what it is.
• People who respect the arts of drumming and opera.
• People who prefer not to hear the 'F'-Word used as every part of speech and over 50 times an hour.

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Review of The X-Files: I Want to Believe (2008)

2008-07-29T19:07:00.004-06:00

Click Poster to Purchase
review • spoiler • premiere photos • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: 2 December 2008 (click date to purchase or pre-order)

• "X-Files" fanatics.
• "X-Files" fans who've been longing to see Mulder and Sculley under covers.
• "X-Files" fans who've missed the cool signature theme song by Mark Snow so much that they find themselves going "Dewt-Déwt-Dewt-Déwt-Déwt-Dew-Dew" anytime anything remotely eerie happens to them. Followed by a "Bah-Báh-Bah-Báh-Báh-Bah-Bah" and "Déét-Déet-Deét-Deet-Deet-DEET-DEE".
• People hoping for a Skinner (Mitch Pileggi) cameo.
• "X-Files" fans who've gone so long without hearing Sculley say "Mul-der" and Mulder say "Scul-ley" they've also actually forgotten the characters do have first names respectively Dana and Fox. And any good "X-Files" conspiracy theorist will tell you that naming him Fox was the fledgling networks way of plugging its name 50,000 times an episode.
• People duped into buying "The X-Files: Revelations—an essential guide to the X-Files Movie" DVD. This set of 8 self-proclaimed "critical episodes handpicked by the creator" to prepare you for the film if it's been too long since you've seen an episode of the "X-Files". You may as well use the Movie Money inside to subsidize your ticket to the tune of a max of $8.50 (better see the matinee if you want to make out ahead on this deal).

• People who do not think sensationalizing and making jokes about unsettling abuse charges and convictions against Catholic Priests is entertainment.
• "X-Files" fans who prefer the alien-government-conspiracy-theory-style shows.
• People who didn't care for the lower budget horror film, Turistas.
• People hoping for a Lone Gunmen or Smoking man cameo.
• People duped into buying "The X-Files: Revelations—an essential guide to the X-Files Movie" DVD. This set of 8 self-proclaimed "critical episodes handpicked by the creator" to prepare you for the film if it's been too long since you've seen an episode of the "X-Files". Unfortunately, you would realize after seeing the film, how much better the show was than either of the movies, but especially this movie. Plus, it's a heck of a lot more fun to see the crazy hair styles of the stars and the Smoking Man back in the very first, pilot episode (air date 10 September 1993 – apologies if that makes you feel ancient) of the "X-Files" which is included in this set of 8 excellent episodes.
• Fans of Amanda Peet, Billy Connolly, and/or Xzibit (aka Alvin Joiner). Why? Here are their character names respectively which probably explains it all: ASAC Dakota Whitney, Father Joseph Crissman, and seriously Agent Mosley Drummy. Maybe if you put these names in a Sodoku box and advance each letter once for every time Sculley throws up her arms in angst over Mulder's irresponsibility in the film, they spell out the T-H-E-T-R-U-T-H-I-S-Y-O-U-G-O-T-R-O-B-B-E-D. "Déét-Déet-Deét-Deet-Deet-DEET-DEE".

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Review of Space Chimps (2008)

2008-07-26T13:10:00.005-06:00

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review • spoiler • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: 25 November 2008 (click date to purchase or pre-order)

• Fans of simians who can forgive their misidentification.
• People looking for a new story in the animated world rather than sitting through the remake of another timeless fairytale.
• Fans of Andy Samberg.
• People who like clever or cheesy puns.
• Parents and guardians looking for an animated film with good morals and values for their kids to watch and learn from.
• People who believe that we all need to learn from and be conscious of our actions and their consequences as we interact with not just our own planet but those others we find in space.
• Animal rights activists and members of PETA.

• People who think all animated films have to be funny with lots of flatulent jokes.
• People who take their kids to see an animated film and then proceed to talk on their cell phone throughout the entire movie not even making a veiled attempt to adopt an inside voice!
• Grown-ups expecting this to be full of inside jokes just for them.
• People who like the bad guys to win in the end.
• People who don't like happy endings.
• GOPers who cannot take a good parody.
• People hoping to find Disney-Pixar® quality animation. [note: the animation isn't bad, it's just not 100% superstar quality, and that's ok.]
• People who think animals are just dumb beast of burden at the disposal of human beings.

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Review of Mamma Mia! (2008)

2008-07-25T20:32:00.006-06:00

Click Poster to Purchase
review • spoiler • premiere photos • film's website • trailer
DVD Release Date: (not scheduled - please check back)

• Fans of Amanda Seyfried, Julie Walters, and Christine Baranski.

• Fans of tall shoes and disco.

• Fans of a shirtless Dominic Cooper.

• Fans of frolicking on tiny Greek Islands.

• People who can forgive a 10-year math mistake.

• People who believe it's never too late to find your one true love.

• People willing and able to suspend disbelief for long enough to have their soul searched and their heart embraced.

• People who don't like musicals.

• People who don't like stage musicals turned into movie musicals.

• People who don't like to see famous actors whom you didn't even know could sing like Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan suddenly, inexplicably break into song and sometimes dance.

• People who don't like ABBA music.

• People who have seen the stage musical version and don't want their memory of that experience ruined or who hated the stage version.

• People offended by the bare backsides of men.

• Meryl Streep fans who don't want to see her having fun.

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